There Goes My Life
by TheStrong1
Summary: Thirty-year-old Edward Cullen seems to have it all. Loving parents, a hot young secretary, he's one of San Francisco's most eligible bachelors and also Vice President of Cullen, Inc. His life is perfect until he receives an unexpected phone call that changes everything. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter One**

 **Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a few of the characters I add here and there belong to my ruthless muse.

 **Summary:** Thirty-year-old Edward Cullen seems to have it all. Loving parents, a hot young secretary, he's one of San Francisco's most eligible bachelors and also Vice President of Cullen, Inc. His life is perfect until he receives an unexpected phone call that changes everything. AH, OlderWard

* * *

"Mr. Cullen, you have a call on line one; it seems important, Sir."

His secretary poked her head into his office. She gave him a beautiful smile before shutting his door with a gentle click. Goodness, he really needed to have her moved before he broke down and gave into the horrible cliche of sleeping with his young, cute as a button, secretary.

Damn his dad for hiring her.

"Mr. Cullen speaking," Edward answered, after picking up the phone and cradling it to his ear as he opened his laptop.

"Is this, Edward Anthony Mason, born on June twentieth of nineteen-eighty-seven?"

"It is, I go by Edward Cullen now, who may I ask is calling?" He frowned into the phone, having not heard his biological name spoken in over twenty years.

"This is Mark Goldberg from the New York Department of Family Services." Edward's eyebrow rose, but he didn't speak. "We found your contact information in some of your mother's documents. Elizabeth Mason."

His frown darkened. "I see. Has she passed?" He asked a bit coldly, opening his take-out bag.

The man was quiet for a moment before clearing his throat, "she has, and it is in that regard I am calling you, Mr. Cullen. To request that you come to my office to speak to me in person."

"In New York?" He snorted, "can't I just pay for the cremation over the phone? I live in California." His eyes snapped to the clock and his daily itinerary, this call was cutting into his fifteen-minute lunch break.

"I'm calling to speak to you about the arrangements that need to be made for your siblings, Mr. Cullen." The man's tone had shifted from warm to a bit cool and frustrated.

"My what?" He asked sinking back into his chair as a cold ball fell into the pit of his stomach.

"Your siblings, Mr. Cullen. You are their only living kin." The man informed him.

Edward rubbed his temples, his eyes shifted to the smiling photo of his adopted parents, his mother's sweet grin. Guilt ate at him until he spoke up grimly, "what's your address?" He asked. "I'll be on a flight as soon as I can schedule one."

He jolted down the man's information before he hung up the phone, he would give anything to turn back the clock five minutes.

He sat quietly for a moment staring down at the burrito that sat untouched on his desk. He had really wanted that damn burrito, had sent across town for it. But as his stomach twisted, he dumped it into the trash bin, and sipped on a bottle of water, "Mr. Cullen you're one o'clock meeting with your dad." His secretary's sweet voice drifted over the intercom, "should I arrange your car to be out front?"

"Cancel the appointment, tell him I'm taking off early," he replied. He couldn't picture himself being able to meet his father's gaze, not over a warm cup of tea and scones.

He stood and stretched, glanced out at his secretary and smirked. She was really quite bad at her job, but her honesty, and commitment in striving to do well made up for her small and mostly easy to correct errors or tiny bouts of nervous klutziness.

He made his way over to his personal Keurig and popped in a chamomile tea. It wouldn't be anywhere near as good as his dad's, but it'll do to relax his stomach. He added a touch of honey and settled back at his laptop, he scrolled up to the new tab button on his internet screen and opened it.

What the hell was he going to do? He frowned, eyeing the colorful Google logo as if it had personally offended him. He couldn't call his mom; he could already feel her loving green eyes staring at him, giving him those looks, coupled with little sighs. He grimaced and his stomach twisted, he placed the photo face down on his desk.

He couldn't call his sister because she'd just tell his parents. His brother wouldn't be much help, but he'd pour him a glass and sit with him quietly in support while simultaneously texting his wife everything. Then, she'd, in turn, call his parents.

Fucking grapevine.

He rubbed his temples. He needed to keep this mess to himself until he cleared up the final clusterfuck his birth mother had left him or at least worked out more of the details. He wasn't ready for his family's input.

"Bella," he bellowed for his secretary, startling her out of her chair. She rushed into his office, nearly tripping over her heels as she shut the door. The frown that creased his face softened as a quirk of a smile fluttered across his face.

"Is everything…" she paused, chewing on her lower lip, "is everything okay, Mr. Cullen?" She asked.

"I need you to clear my schedule for the rest of the week." He informed her as he watched her process his demand. An idea suddenly began spinning in his head, and faster than he could rationalize and think it through completely, he blurted out, without his customary smoothness, "Actually, do you have any experience with children?"

Her eyebrows rose slightly, "uh...some, I babysat throughout high school." He shrugged, that was a hell of a lot more experience than he had. He again rubbed his temples, he wasn't even sure what he was going to do, but he knew he'd at least needed to meet his siblings ... if they really were. And he needed to bury his mother. He really should have asked more questions.

He shook his head, "have my car brought out front around two, once you have everything arranged, you may go home." He dismissed her, "Enjoy your early evening, Isabella." He added as she headed for the door.

"You too Mr. Cullen."

He gazed at the booking website and added the destination, his eyes settled on the number of passengers, and his finger hovered over one adult, before clicking two.

He pressed down the intercom button gently, "Isabella, I need to see you my office before you leave." He spoke politely, looking up to catch her brown eyes through the window.

"Shut the door," he requested when she stepped back in. "I'm going on a trip," he announced.

"A trip?" She asked, her face clearly stating she thought he had maybe hit his head or lost his mind at some point during the day. "Business or personal?" She managed to ask.

"Personal," he clarified, "to New York," he continued smoothly, "and I'd like you to accompany me."

Her head jerked up, her eyes widened, "I don't think that's a real good idea, Mr. Cullen."

"I'll pay you, double," when she just raised her eyebrow, he barked out, "Triple your daily salary for every day we're gone." He offered.

"Eww," she wrinkled her nose. "Listen, I don't know what kind of secretary you think I am but I'm not that kind."

Edward's frowned softly as he rubbed the back of his neck before his eyes widened, "Oh, no," he laughed, "I didn't intend, no," he covered his mouth to hide his smile. "I'm going to need some help, business wise, for you to take my calls; it'd be easier if you were with me." He explained, he held out a folder to her, "your ticket, information about the hotel where we'll be staying, in two separate rooms," he added with a smirk.

"This says we leave at seven o'clock tonight." She said scanning the documents.

"Can you make the necessary arrangements, it's important I get there as soon as possible." He asked, his wild hair even more manic looking, and his eyes that we're always so serious and focused seemed wild.

"Sure," she agreed, her brown eyes watching him, "I'll just drop Lucy off at Angela's for a few days."

"Lucy?" He asked his voice rose in surprise, "You have a child?"

Bella laughed, "goodness no, I have a cat. He's gorgeous and old."

Edward's eyes twinkled with mischief, but he filed the information away for later, when they had more time, "I'll send a taxi to your place at five."

"I'll be ready, and your car is out front, Mr. Cullen."

* * *

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen," she greeted him with a smile, as he placed her luggage in the cab.

He groaned internally, 'what the hell had I been thinking?' Gone was her professional attire of baggy, awkward outfits that didn't suit her, replaced with comfortable, tight jeans and a loose black and white striped blouse paired with a soft pink scarf and on her feet, Converse. "Good evening, Isabella."

The ride to the airport was quiet, both politely ignoring each other and engaging with their cell phones. Edward led her through the crowds, keeping a gentle hand on her back as they walked. When they finally reached the Delta Airline counter, the agent weighed and tagged their luggage before she handed Edward his boarding pass.

"Have a delightful flight, Mr. Cullen; I've checked you all the way to Ithaca, New York. Travel safely." He smiled charmingly as he watched her scribble her e-mail on the back of his ticket.

He slipped the pass into his carry-on bag.

Bella smirked at him and let out a little snort of amusement as she placed her pass in her purse.

"What?" He asked lifting an eyebrow and his green eyes seemed brighter than normal.

"Nothing." She laughed softly.

* * *

"Eggs, ham, and toast, with a pot of coffee," Edward put in his order in at the Detroit Metropolitan Airport terminal 24/7 Diner as they waited for their connecting flight.

"So… Ithaca?" She asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over them through their first flight from San Francisco.

He nodded, taking a long sip of his water.

"Can I ask why?" She continued squeezing the lemon slice into her water as Edward's nose curled.

Before she could raise the glass to her lips, he blurted out, "Do you know how many germs are now in that glass?"

She groaned and placed the water back on the table and pushed it away from her, "So why are we flying across the United States in the middle of the night?" She restated her question as she poured herself a cup of coffee, adding an insane amount of sugar and creamer. "And don't start about cavities and tooth decay, just answer the question."

He let out a long sigh and declared quietly, "my mother passed away."

"Oh, my gosh!" Her mouth fell open, and the color drained from her face, "your poor father must be so heartbroken… wait why are we flying to New York, you should be home with your family?" She frowned at him crossing her arms over her chest.

"Not Esme. My birth mother. I'm adopted." He explained, adding salt and pepper to his food.

"Oh." She nodded and chewed on her lower lip unsure what to say.

"I haven't told my family yet. Not that they wouldn't be supportive, they would be, maybe a little too much. This felt like something I needed to do on my own." He carried on his explanation as he cut his ham into pieces.

She raised an eyebrow at him and waited for him to continue as she buttered her pancakes.

"And I need you to keep everyone at bay while I process and take care of everything." He added before taking a bite.

"Well, okay, and you're still paying me, right?" She asked, letting the conversation fizz out once he answered her question with a soft, "Yeah."

They were quiet as they finished their meal.

He followed Bella down to their gate and waited calmly to board as Bella opened her book and got lost in words on the pages before her.

"I've never flown first class before," Bella stated as she put her bags away and took her assigned seat.

Edward buckled his seatbelt, "and there's something else you should know. In a few hours, I have a meeting with Mr. Goldberg; he's a social worker for my brother or sister. I need to meet him or her, and basically, I have to decide what I'm going to do."

"You mean whether you take guardianship or let them go into foster care?"

"Yeah. Listen, he could be a sixteen, seventeen-year-old punk, who's into drugs and porn. I don't know anything, yet. I've had no contact with Elizabeth since her rights were terminated and the Cullen's adopted me. I haven't thought of her in years, and I have never had the urge to look her up. I should have asked more questions, but I don't handle shock well and my mind sort of blanked."

"I'm not judging you," she held up her hands in surrender, giving him a half smile.

He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his bearded face, "I'm sorry, I'm a mess."

"I'll go with you, be your sounding board, confidant, friend. I'll help you. You don't have to do this alone, Edward."

He chewed on the corner of his thumb, eyeing her sincere smile, "Okay, thank you."

"Call me Bella," she said, she held out her hand to him, "If we're going to be friends."

He found himself shaking her hand, "Okay, Bella, friends it is."

* * *

 **Author Note...**

* * *

Thank you, **Sunflower Fran** , for Beta'ing and for inspiring the idea with one of your writing prompts.

Secondly, I need to say, I'm sorry to all my followers, so sorry for my long, long, hiatus. All I can say is Real Life. My computer was destroyed awhile back and I couldn't afford a new one until just recently, my children always come first, so does the medication and food. The unexpected death of my computer and flash drive was a real kick to the muse, I lost a lot of my work and notes. Without a keyboard, I simply let real life carry me away. My stories haven't been abandoned, I hope to have new material soon. Lots of love.

Please **review**.


	2. Chapter 2

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Two**

* * *

"Edward, we're going to be late," Bella announced, as she knocked on his hotel door.

He opened the door to his room, his toothbrush clamped between his teeth, as she looked him over, "we're friends, right?" She asked, stepping into his suite.

He nodded, then frowned a little wondering if she was placing him in the ever dreaded friend zone. "Right, good," she grinned as she flipped open his suitcase. His eyes widened slightly. Obviously, this friendship was going to invade some of his personal boundaries. "You're not wearing that suit," she declared, rummaging through his clothes.

He lifted an eyebrow at her as he took his toothbrush from his mouth. "You're not going to meet your siblings looking like their principal," she explained as she pulled out a pair of expensive dark jeans. "Listen, you can keep your shirt and tie on, just put this V-neck sweater over it. Casual but sophisticated."

She handed him the clothes, "now hurry, our Uber will be here in a minute." She made herself at home as she curled up in the chair by the window while he disappeared into the bathroom. "Speaking of Uber, did you hear about that driver who stopped a girl from being forced into child prostitution in Elk Grove?" She called to him through the wall.

"I believe I read an article about that on my phone." He paused as he zipped up his jeans, "didn't the driver talk about how the conversation in the car felt wrong and the child was dressed way too inappropriately? So he called the police after he dropped them off at the hotel."

"Yeah, I wonder if Uber rewarded him for his good deed and all the positive publicity it brought for their company." She mused aloud as he stepped out of his bathroom, "you look more approachable, and I'm glad you abandoned the tie."

He placed his wallet in his pocket and checked himself in the mirror as Bella pulled on her heavy winter coat, "ready?" She asked.

"Sure," he gave her a crooked smile. He picked up his briefcase that held his personal information. He wasn't sure what information the social worker would need, but he was sure it was in there.

"I spoke with Alice this morning," Bella stated as the car turned onto a brick paved street. "Don't worry, I told her you flew to New York on business and that you'd call her back at your earliest convenience." She shrugged as Edward leveled her with a look, "What? You know how your sister gets."

"After this, we need to go to the funeral home," Edward stated, glancing down at the expensive cup of coffee he had been sipping all morning. He wanted to turn back to the hotel and forget this whole mess. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. As Bella paid for their fair, she climbed out of the car and held the door open for him, "c'mon Edward, you won't start to feel better until you have answers."

She held out her hand, giving him a reassuring smile as he reached out, curled his hand around hers, and stepped out of the vehicle. "You can handle this, you're Edward Cullen for goodness sakes," she said, her brown eyes filled with warmth as she tried to give him a boost of confidence.

He swallowed down the hard lump in his throat as he followed her into the Family Service's Office in downtown Ithaca, New York.

Mark Goldberg was a large, gray-haired man with a compassionate grin. Edward's shoulders loosened as he was reminded of his late Grandfather Cullen. "Come in, come in, take a seat," Mark greeted them with a gentle handshake before he held open the door to his office. The room smelled of old books and peppermints, and his desk was cluttered with files. "I'm happy you made it here so quickly, Mr. Cullen."

"Call me, Edward," he said, taking a seat after Bella.

"I hope your travels went smoothly," Mark stated politely as he quickly organized his desk and sat a case folder aside. "I'm sure this is a very difficult time for you, you probably have a lot of mixed emotions, and I'm sorry for your loss." His gaze settling on Edward who nodded slowly, "now, I'm sure you have many questions, and I'll do my best to answer them."

"I do, you said I have a brother or sister, what's going to happen to them?"

"Okay, well," Mark paused to put his glasses on, he cleared his throat, "you have four siblings, three brothers and a sister," he reached across the desk and held out a photograph of the four young children. "I can start arranging for their transfer into your care, so long as you meet the necessary requirements ... if that is what you wish."

"Four?" Edward murmured to himself, he felt cold and clammy underneath his oxford shirt. His heart thundered in his ears as the words washed over him, leaving him hollow as he stared down at the photo. "What the hell?" He whispered, his green eyes darkening as his chest tightened and his stomach twisted painfully.

No one dared to speak, nor made any move to break the silence the room had fallen into. Edward stood abruptly, nearly knocking over the chair he had been sitting in, startling Bella, "I'm gonna be sick."

"Breathe," Bella instructed. She ignored the weak glare he shot her, smiled encouragingly as he followed her directions, and sucked in a deep breath, releasing it slowly, then repeating the process a few more time until his stomach settled and the shock started to edge away.

Mark placed a cool glass of water into his hand. Edward took a few sips before speaking, "I'm sorry," he apologized to both of them as he retook his seat.

Mark nodded, he sat down his coffee mug, "I know this is overwhelming. But there are options. You can always say, no. This is a huge decision; the lives, and the futures of four children, your brothers, and sister. It's a lot of responsibility."

"And if I say no? What will happen to them?"

"They'll stay in the foster care system and be placed up for adoption. In all likelihood, they'll end up in different homes. I can't guarantee they'll all find forever homes."

Edward swallowed hard and glanced back down at the photo. He remembered those horrible months of drifting from house to house until the Cullens welcomed him into their home forever.

"He looks like you," Bella said, touching the image of the eldest boy, who Edward guessed couldn't be older than seven. His wide, charismatic grin showed he still had all his baby teeth. He frowned softly at Bella, 'way to point out the genetic resemblance,' he thought a bit resentfully.

"What of their father, or fathers?" He asked faintly, his voice sounded far away, even to his own ears.

Mark shuffled through the folder and held out four birth certificates to Edward, "all listed as unknown."

He snorted, his mouth twisted into a bitter grin, "well, I'm glad Elizabeth kept some things consistent."

"Asher James Mason, born on May 10, he's five." Edward moved onto to the next, "Mia Grace Mason, February 15, she's almost three." He rubbed his mouth, then squeezed the back of his neck as Bella took the last two certificates, "Braxton Thomas and Holden William Mason born on January 3rd, seven minutes apart. They're three weeks old."

Edward shut his eyes. What the hell was he going to do? Peeling them open, his gaze drifted back down to the picture, each face now had a name. Mia's large hazel eyes stared back at him. He let out a deep sigh.

"You don't have to decide right now, how about I arrange a meeting this afternoon. Give you and your wife some time to think." He looked over his schedule, Bella and Edward traded looks, but before either of them could speak and correct him, Mark continued, "I'll have their foster family bring them here at four."

"That's a good idea, let's do that," Bella agreed for a quiet Edward.

Edward followed her outside. He moved out of the walkway and leaned against the brick building, "I need some Tums," he finally muttered, his voice thick with discomfort.

Bella glanced up from her phone, nodded once before her eyes darted back to her phone as she swiped and tapped on the screen for a moment, "there's a corner pharmacy a few blocks down the street, a short walk from here."

She watched him push off the wall, his lips were pinched together, and his complexion was still a bit pale. She didn't try to start a conversation as they walked down to the pharmacy. "Get what you need; I'll wait out here for our ride."

"Where are we headed?" Edward asked as he climbed into the cab, his breath smelled of mint.

"Enterprise, the rental car is ready. I figured we could pick up the vehicle, grab a bite to eat before we head over to the funeral home," she said, putting her phone into her purse.

He smirked, all he wanted to do was run away and hide from his problems, but she kept him on track. She was somehow walking the narrow line of trying to be both his friend and his assistant. He knew he'd never be able to repay her for the support she had been providing him all morning.

Bella grimaced, her face flushed as she ducked her head as Edward let out a sigh of frustration. He quietly snarked at the rental clerk, "what the hell do you mean you don't have the car? I have the confirmation number right here?" He flung the piece of paper down on the counter. His green eyes were wild. She knew his outburst had very little to do with the delay at the dealership.

"I'm sorry, Sir. There must have been a mix-up earlier," the rental clerk explained with an apologetic shrug, clicking away on the computer in front of him.

"Sorry, you're sorry. Just fix it." He demanded.

Bella reached out and squeezed his arm, "go take a breather, I'll handle this." She requested, her brown eyes pleading with him.

"Fine."

She smiled and turned back to the clerk once he stepped outside to calm down, "I'm sorry about that. He's not normally such a grouch. We're in town for his mother funeral." She explained quietly.

He nodded and tapped away on his keyboard for a few minutes, "we don't have the car he requested, but we do have a Tahoe available."

"We'll take it." She agreed with a smile, taking the set of keys.

Edward was quiet as he signed the paperwork. He slipped the young man a twenty-dollar tip. "I'm sorry for how I acted," he apologized before climbing into the SUV and pulling out of the rental dealership.

"Where to for lunch? I'm thinking comfort foods, Pizza, Chinese, Italian." He asked as he kept his eye on the traffic signal waiting for it to turn green.

"Hold on, give me a sec," Bella said as she pulled her phone out of her purse. She unlocked the screen and opened her TripAdvisor app, "Ciao. It's a wood-fired pizza and pasta place." She decided after scanning through the list of restaurants.

"Sounds fine," he agreed as she entered the address into Google Maps.

He pushed the last few bites of his lasagna around his plate, "Four Isabella! Babies." He exclaimed, "I was expecting, prepared for a teenager, possibly two teenagers, not little ones, not babies." He pushed his plate away and ran his hand through his hair.

"And what were you gonna do with teenagers?" She inquired.

"I was going to enroll them in a boarding school that would suit their needs, get them into a good counseling program and help them build their futures. I wanted to give them a chance at a better life. Some of the same opportunities that my parents gave me."

"And now?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "I don't know anything about children, about infants."

"The commitment is completely different." She agreed, finishing her manicotti.

"Yeah," he admitted. "I wasn't prepared for that." He paid for their meal although he hadn't finished or really even enjoyed anything he put in his mouth. It was all bland and tasteless.

Edward stared up at the funeral home, "place looks like it belongs in a movie," he mused quietly. Bella nodded in agreement, as she took in the large Victorian home, painted a soft blue with white trim.

He led Bella into the inside. "I'm here for my twelve-thirty appointment, I'm the son of Elizabeth Mason, Edward Cullen."

"Yes, Hello, I'm Kenneth Wilson, one of the sons of Wilson and Sons Funeral Home, we spoke on the phone." He greeted them with a smile as he shook their hands. "This way," he directed them into a private planning room.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Edward, can I call you Edward?" he asked politely. "Take a seat, make yourself comfortable."

Edward nodded as he took a seat on the sofa, he rubbed his hands together. Maybe he should've called his dad.

Kenneth spoke, breaking him out of his inner musing. "The death of a family member is one of the most traumatic and overwhelming events in anyone's life. In the blink of an eye, your world has been turned upside down." Edward let out a small bitter snort; Bella reached out and squeezed his hands gently. The funeral director continued. "No one can take away that pain and sense of loss, but we'd like to help by making everything a little easier for you."

Edward nodded again, "here are her personal belongs," Kenneth handed him a bag.

"Thank you." He looked inside. It contained her purse, phone, keys and a small bottle of hand sanitizer. He swallowed and handed it off to Bella who tucked it next to her.

"Now before we begin with the arrangements, would you like to see her?"

Elizabeth looked older; her face held more wrinkles than Edward remembered her having. She appeared as if she was only sleeping, but he could tell she was gone, that her body was merely a shell. He swallowed down the lump that formed in his throat and wiped away a tear.

He frowned and shook his head, trying to push away the memories seeing her stirred in his mind. He could almost hear her laughter ring in his ears. "Hey Crocodile," he whispered thickly, brushing her bangs off her forehead. A rush of love and anger burned through him as he started down at her peaceful face.

Why the hell did she have to die?

"Do you know how she passed away?" Edward asked, looking up once he composed himself.

"Postpartum infection. By the time she sought treatment, her heart was too weak to fight it."

"Thank you."

Bella gave him a soft smile when they returned and put Elizabeth's phone back into the bag.

"Now were you thinking, cremation or burial?" Kenneth asked.

He took a deep breath. His father's voice rang in his ears, "Edward, taking the low road will make you feel good now, but will you like the man who looks back at you in the mirror tomorrow. It's never a good thing, in the long run, Son. We don't hurt those who hurt us. We forgive. We're Cullens."

"She may have a burial plot out at one of the cemeteries next to her parents." He held out his credit card.

"We'll call around and find out," Kenneth promised.

He flipped through a book of headstones, "what do you think of this one?" He asked his voice seemed flat to Bella's ears as he showed her the slant granite headstone that was reddish in color and had roses engraved into it.

"It's very nice, Edward." She approved.

"This one then." He handed the book back to Kenneth. "Name. Date of her Birth and Death."

"Would you like to add a quote?"

He rubbed a hand over his mouth, he caught Bella's gaze then turned back to Kenneth and wrote exactly what he wanted on a slip of paper.

 _Afterwhile Crocodile_

 _Love, Edward, Asher, Mia,_ _Braxton,_ _and Holden._

Edward sat in the driver's seat and rubbed at his chest for a minute with his eyes closed as Bella entered the hotel address into the navigation system. He opened his eyes and watched her, and relaxed as a bit of warmth spread through his limbs, eating away at the hollowness in his chest.

"That was very sweet of you, Edward." Bella murmured, giving him a small grin that unnerved him. He grunted and turned onto the highway driving them back to the hotel safely.

* * *

Author Note...

* * *

Thank you, **Sunflower Fran** , for Beta'ing.

I do not have an updating schedule. I can't make any sweet promises of fast or frequent updates. I really, really, really would love too but I can't, am I going to try, hell yeah. But my real life revolves around my eighty-nine-year-old Grandpa, my Husband, my anxious but brilliant eight-year-old and my five-year-old who has PIDD.

Thank you for reading and Please, **Review**.


	3. Chapter 3

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Three**

 **Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a few of the characters I add here and there belong to my ruthless muse.

* * *

Edward paced his hotel room, chewing on the corner of his thumb. He paused in front of the large window that overlooked a good portion of downtown, Ithaca. He shuddered as he remembered walking those terrifying streets as a hungry boy in search of his mother.

He shook his head and turned away from the view. He had promised Bella he'd give her an hour and a half to rest before they left to go back to the Family Service Office.

He glanced down at his watch; he had an hour to burn. He sat on the edge of his bed, and took a long sip of the cold raspberry tea he had purchased from the vending machine before retiring to his room.

He reached for the remote, scanning through the channels a few times before clicking off the television and tossing the remote aside as he stood back up, "screw it," he grumbled to himself.

His knuckles rapped against her door a minute later, "Edward?" She asked through the door. He could picture her stretching up to peek through the peephole.

"Yeah," he said, as she pulled the door open.

Fuck him.

She was sumptuous with her hair twirled up in a messy bun, dressed only in comfortable black leggings paired with a cozy gray sweater.

He shook his head and smiled sheepishly.

"What's the matter?" She asked, letting him into her room.

He rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze dropped away from hers, "I need your help." He requested, his skin felt hot and itchy, as he tugged at his collar, "I've - I've never held a baby," he explained.

Her eyebrows rose at his announcement, she blinked at him, "but Alice is like, eighteen - nineteen. You would've been like what, twenty, when she was born? "

"I was almost twelve," He said dryly, as his forehead wrinkled, "wait - how old do you think I am?" He asked, looking up sharply.

"Dunno, like forty?" She shrugged, grabbing her purse after she slipped her socked feet into a pair of boots and tugged on her coat.

He eyed her, he shook his head, "you really think I'm forty?" He asked.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I mean, no. I don't think I really had an age in mind. I didn't mean to apply that I thought you were old, you're not, but I assumed because Emmett just turned thirty-five and you're obviously the older brother."

Edward lifted an eyebrow, and his lips twitched, as he watched her unravel, "I'm not, Emmett is five years older than me. I'm almost thirty." He smiled.

Her smile widened, and she laughed, "Oh well, that makes sense, I guess," she mused, "anyway, back on topic, you must have held her? C'mon she was your baby sister."

He shook his head as he followed her to the elevator, "no, well, maybe once or twice," he admitted, looking over her shoulder, "but, one night when she was still little, she was fussing so I crept into her nursery. I wanted to be the greatest big brother ever." He smiled briefly, but it fell away as he continued. "I took her from her crib," he paused, glancing down at his watch, "anyway, I must have been holding her wrong or something because my mom came in and took her from me, and it was one of the only time she ever scolded me. I never dared to pick her up again after that. I don't recall interacting with her until she could walk and talk."

Bella nodded weakly, unsure what to say, so she reached out and squeezed his hand until the elevators doors sprung open.

"Where are we going?" He asked as he hit the unlock button on the Tahoe's keyless entry.

"To the toy store," she told him as she looked up the nearest one on her phone then entered the address into the vehicle's GPS. "But first, coffee," she announced, pointing to a Starbucks down the road from the hotel.

He rolled his eyes and pulled into the coffee shop's parking lot, "don't judge me, you woke me up, remember?" She smirked at him, "and you can pay, too," she teased, as she dug through her purse for her wallet.

When they got back to California, he really needed to have her transferred to a different floor. He had a sinking suspicion that if he wasn't careful, Isabella Swan was going to change his life.

He rolled down the window. He leaned back so she could read the menu, his nostrils flaring as his nose caught the scent of her lavender shampoo. He didn't comment as she ordered her medium, skinny, vanilla latte, with a blueberry muffin. He shook his head and pushed her money away, and without protest, he paid for her snack and drove to the store as she ate.

"Thank you," she smiled, looking more alert after her carb and sugar intake. She followed him into the large, Toys R Us/Babies R Us combo store. His eyes widened as he was overstimulated by the bright colors and the vast amount of children stuff stretched out before him.

"Edward?"

His eyes jumped to hers, "it's okay," she murmured, "come on." She took his hand and led him back to the aisle of baby dolls.

"What are we doing?" He asked quietly, lips quirking upwards as she searched the shelves.

She plucked a realistic, lifelike doll off the shelf, "here, see" she said, cradling the doll to her chest.

He lifted an eyebrow, "what in the world are you doing?" He repeated, running a hand over his mouth.

Bella rolled her eyes and thrust the doll into his arms, "here," she said, "like this," she adjusted his arms so that he was using both hands. She chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully, "always be careful with new babies. Support their heads and necks." She murmured, "they have soft spots on the top of their heads, they're really kind of gross" she muttered with a chuckle, as she showed him the general area they were located.

His chest tightened, "oh."

"Crash course," she explained, leading him over to the Baby R Us side of the store. She placed the doll in a show crib, then taught him how to lift it in and out of the bed carefully.

His eyes scanned around the room, taking in the cribs, dressers, bedding, rows of high chairs, car seats, bouncers, pack n plays, bottles, formula, diapers, and clothes, "infants really need all this stuff?"

"Not all but a lot," Bella chuckled quietly as she showed him how to unbuckle a car seat. "Very good," she praised him as he correctly lifted the doll out of the seat.

"We should get them something," he said, "maybe a toy or an outfit." He shrugged, looking away from her. "I remember not having anything of my own when I lived with my first foster family, the Tylers. They were a decent couple." He mused quietly.

"That's a good idea," she agreed, "luckily, clothes are pretty much sized by age. Why don't you pick out a gift bag for a boy and girl, no better yet, pick out backpacks, and I'll grab a bag for the babies." She suggested thoughtfully.

Edward nodded, "Yeah," looked at her for a second, and wondered where the klutzy, self-conscious girl had gone.

"Go on," she said.

He swallowed and walked off. With the help from a store clerk, he was directed to the rows of school bags, many decorated with cartoon characters. He frowned deeply, taking in the colorful ponies, bears, puppies, trains, cars and planes with faces on them. He looked the bags over with care before deciding on two plain backpacks, one a soft purple and the other a rich blue.

He located Bella in what appeared to be a small sea of baby clothes where she was contemplating over two blankets. "These work?" He held up the bags for her to assess.

She smiled, "Yeah," and he placed them in the cart, next to the items she had gathered. "Anyway, I sort of figured - assumed, one pair of pajamas, one outfit, and a stuffed animal," Bella said, looking over the piles she had established for each child. She also placed two, soft baby blankets in the cart. "I think I'm done, I went generic, being as, uh, we don't know what they fancy." She explained as he felt the baby blanket.

He cleared his throat and nodded, "that's brilliant, good thinking Bella." He then placed the stuffed dog and unicorn on the checkout conveyor. He swiped his card as Bella settled the items in their individual bags.

"Do you want me to drive?" Bella asked quietly as he chewed another Tums.

He shook his head, "No, I'll feel better if I do... not that I'm not saying you're a bad driver." His face turned a dull shade a pink as he gave her a crooked, almost sheepish grin.

"You need to feel in control," she smirked at him. "I get it."

She turned the radio on and scanned through the stations, before settling on classic rock when she noticed Edward's lips started moving along with the lyrics. She kept alert as he drove them into downtown, "You've got a nice voice," he complimented her singing as she trailed off when the music stopped.

She laughed and climbed out of the SUV, letting his accolade fall on deaf ears. She squeezed his upper arm gently, "you've got this," she murmured as she picked up the gift bag for his twin brothers, letting him grab the backpacks for his older siblings.

"What if," he cut himself off as she placed her hand over his and stopped him from messing with his shirt collar.

She made sure she had his gaze before speaking slowly, "it'll be fine, now let's go, it's freezing." His frown smoothed, he reached out and brushed a string of brown hair away from her eyes before heading into the building.

Mark Goldberg greeted them kindly, "right this way," he directed them down the hall and held open the door to a room with bright, cheerful walls, filled with toys and games. There was a sofa and television in one corner, "this is one of our supervised visitation rooms," Mark explained. "I'll bring in your siblings in just a minute, why don't you two have a seat and make yourselves comfortable. Can I get you anything?" He asked.

Edward glanced at Bella who shook her head, "no, we're good, thank you," he murmured politely, taking a seat next to Bella on the sofa.

He wiped his hands on his jeans, and his eyes kept darting to the door. Bella frowned softly, "deep breaths," she whispered, "in, out." She nudged his shoulder gently, "I should totally charge you for this. Bella Swan, personal meditation consultant."

He let out a quiet, almost strangled laugh, but his shoulders loosened, and he smiled. Bella's head whipped around as the door opened and Mark and an older woman, who Edward didn't recognize led the children in, both carrying a car seat and placing them on the table.

"Mia, Asher," Mark said gently with a warm smile, as he knelt down in front of the small boy and girl, "this is your big brother, Edward," he introduced him.

Edward forced a smile and gave them a small wave, his heart clenched as he stared down at Asher. The young boy, with his messy brown locks, looked like he had been photocopied out of one of the few pictures Edward had of himself as a young child.

Bella bit her lip to keep from smiling as she watched Edward squirm under the scrutiny of the children. Mia stared at him silently, a pink and purple pacifier clamped between her teeth. "If he's our brother, how come I never saw him before?" Asher asked, squinting up at Edward with a distrustful frown.

Edward cleared his throat and replied smoothly, "because, I live a long way away from here," he explained, "and truthfully kid, I hadn't spoken to our mom since way before you were born."

Asher wrinkled his nose, "Oh," he said simply.

Edward nodded, "Yeah, oh," he agreed, "want a present?" He held the blue bag out towards Asher who plucked it from his hand. He let out a slow breath as both children seemed happy with their new gifts. He rubbed his beard as he took in the twins; they were small and pink, dressed in blue. His lips tugged upwards as he watched them sleep serenely in their car seats unaware of the world around them.

"They're tiny," he stated quietly, a dark frown stretching over his face. "Are they all supposed to be this small?" He asked, turning his eyes to Mark.

"The twins, they're both," Mark opened a folder, "let's see here, they're both close to seven and a half pounds now, small but average for twins. Now, Mia and Asher, yes, they're both considered underweight."

Edward ran a hand through his hair, "right."

Mia held up her unicorn to Edward. He smiled down at her, "pretty?" He said unsurely, he chewed on his lower lip before he gently picked her up. Her large brown eyes pulled him in; he was reminded of Alice when she was a small girl. He settled her on his hip, "does she have a name?" He asked, his voice taking on a much softer tone, one Bella had never heard before.

"Spot." She murmured around her pacifier.

Asher's face turned red and his mouth twisted up in a fierce scowl, "You can't call her Spot. I named my dog, Spot, dummy."

"Hey now," Edward frowned. He waited until he caught Asher's attention before speaking. And the words that poured from his mouth came from his father. "We don't call people names Asher," he informed him firmly. "It's hurtful, and we don't use our words to hurt people."

He rubbed Mia's back as he knelt down next to Asher who blinked at him owlishly. Edward knew he couldn't order the young boy to apologize. For he knew there was a good chance Asher would have no idea what he was talking about, nor would he understand what he wanted from him. He took a deep breath and settled for a distraction. "Let's all look up new name ideas."

Bella pulled out her phone, "Siri, what are good names for Unicorns?" The next hour passed quickly, and the children slowly started to relax. Mia settled on the name Bubbles for her new pet, and they all talked as they colored a series of pictures. Edward then took Holden from Bella and placed the sleeping boy back in his seat.

"Don't you dare," she teased him quietly when he reached for Braxton, she cuddled the newborn close. "I'll put him in his seat," she promised.

He nodded and turned back to Mia. "Do you have Bubbles?" She nodded as he zipped up her coat. He tapped her pacifier, and she hugged him.

"I have Spot," Asher said as he zipped up his backpack. Edward swallowed, "Is there anything I can get you from your old house, our mom's house?" He asked, putting the pictures in his briefcase.

"My dragon, it's blue and green," Asher nodded, "and my blanket. It has stars and stuff on it."

"Okay, I'll try and find them," Edward agreed, giving his shoulder a small squeeze.

"It's time to go," Mark announced.

Edward's eyes narrowed at the kind man, but he held his tongue as he covered Holden with his new blanket. "We're almost ready," he promised and turned his eyes to Mia, "and you darling?"

"My dolly," he nodded, watching as Bella helped her put her sparkly Mary Janes back on her feet.

He frowned deeply as the woman returned and collected Braxton from Bella's arms as Mark lifted up Holden's seat from the coffee table. His stomach burned, and he felt hollow as Mia's hand slipped from his as he watched Mark lead them from the room.

He forced a small smile as Asher turned back to look at him, his young eyes wide with fear and sadness as he gave him a small wave goodbye. "See you later alligator," Edward called softly, the words fell from his lips without thought.

His chest squeezed painfully as Asher's face lit up, he ran back to him and hugged his leg tightly, "Afterwhile crocodile," he murmured, as Edward ran his hand through his wild hair.

He dropped down onto the sofa as the door shut quietly behind Mark. Bella stayed quiet, pretending to focus on her phone as she watched Edward place his elbows on his knees and held his head between his hands, his fingers scratching at the back of his scalp.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" He whispered thickly, as he tried to calm himself down. "I thought, I thought, I wouldn't," he shook his head, standing. "I thought I wouldn't feel anything and that I could go home, forget about ... _this_." He ended with a wounded hiss.

"Oh," Bella murmured, putting her phone in her purse.

"But I did. That boy," he waved his hand jerkily, "and Mia," he croaked.

She nodded, her smile stretched across her face sadly. "You felt connected to them. They're your siblings."

He dropped her gaze, he didn't need to think or make a list. As much as he'd like to pick up his cell and call his mom, he didn't need to have a long, drawn out discussion with his parents, he knew what he had to do, what he was going to do.

"I'll raise them," he told Mark when he returned.

The interview went smoothly with the social worker. He filled out the necessary paperwork, and answered a series of question, supplied proof of his income, home, and his ability to care for them.

"I'll call you in the morning with a court time," Mark promised, as he walked them out of the office.

* * *

Author Note...

* * *

A big Thank you to **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing.

I pray you all are well, big hugs and lots of love. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and please leave a **Review**.

\- Emily


	4. Chapter 4

There Goes My Life

Chapter Four

 **Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The plot, along with a few of the characters I add here and there belong to my ruthless muse.

* * *

Edward parked by the curb, he stared up at the peeling gray paint of the low-income apartments, "home sweet home," he muttered, a bitter edge to his voice.

He cast a glance at Bella, and then forced an awkward grin before twisting the key into the lock and pushing the front door open to Elizabeth's apartment.

He stood in the entryway of his mother's home. He held his breath as his nose adjusted to the spoiled air. He took in the cluttered floor, scattered with toys and trash, the kitchen sink and countertops that were overrun with dirty dishes, the trash bin was overflowing onto the floor, and his mouth drew up in a tight line.

He walked into the kitchen, reached into the cabinet above the refrigerator and pulled out a container. "Stupid witch." He snarled darkly, tossing the drugs.

"Edward?" Bella murmured worriedly.

He shook his head; his voice came out softer and controlled. "You can go back to the hotel. I have a doll and a dragon to find."

"I'll help," she said stubbornly.

He kicked at some trash, "Don't touch anything, be careful," he said, as he started searching. He found a couple of plastic totes and emptied them; he gathered up some of the toys, and Asher's blanket and packed them away.

"What about everything else?" Bella asked.

"It can rot for all I care," he said. "I'm not taking any of the clothes because God only knows what kind of drugs may have seeped into them." He turned off the lights as he carried the trash out. "Let's go eat, we'll ... or I'll come back tomorrow."

She forced a grin, "sure, I saw this really good restaurant on TripAdvisor," he rolled his eyes fondly as they climbed into the Tahoe.

"So, what are we having?" He asked, turning the heater on full blast.

"Seafood."

He chuckled deeply, "of course we are."

He pulled into the parking lot of The Boatyard Grill. It was set on the south end of Cayuga Lake and under the moonlit sky looked picturesque, like the cover of one of Esme's romance novels.

He gently guided Bella into the restaurant with his hand on her lower back. He tipped the hostess generously after she seated them at a table with a breathtaking waterfront view.

He watched Bella's eyes widened as she took in the prices on the menu, "order whatever you'd like, Bella," he told her quietly. "You've more than earned it."

He turned to the waitress, "We'll start with the Seafood Splash Down Tower, and I'll have a glass of German Riesling."

"I'll have a strawberry lemonade," Bella requested, as she placed her napkin in her lap.

They were quiet as they waited for their drinks, "no wine?"

Bella smiled across the table at him, "maybe, if I was old enough," she laughed, "but probably not, I'm not big on the taste."

Edward lifted an eyebrow, "how old are you?" He asked, briefly wondering once more why his father had hired her.

"Twenty. I'll be twenty-one in the summer," she explained, taking a sip of her lemonade.

He nodded. He grinned as the waitress set a three tier appetizer stand upon their table, plates filled with shrimp cocktail, steamed clams, fried calamari, "eat up," he chuckled. He ordered them Filet Mignon when Bella couldn't decide; many times his eyes would drift out to the water while he sipped his wine.

"I came up here once as a boy," he stated quietly, "not here," he motioned to the restaurant, "but the lake. I would've been about seven or eight, it was summer. It was one of the best weeks of my young life, pre-Cullen years."

"Oh yeah?"

He smiled softly, "yeah, it was nice. We slept in an old tent, ate hot dogs, fished," his smile twisted, "thinking back now, we were probably homeless."

"Tell me about her, your mother?" She suggested as she cut into her steak. "I mean, I can make assumptions, I have enough pieces of the puzzle, but you might feel better if you talked about her."

He pushed his steamed vegetables around his plate; he didn't lift his eyes away from the piece of broccoli he was nudging away from his carrots. He was quiet for so long that Bella believed he was going to ignore her request. "She was young when she had me, too young. Fifteen - nearly sixteen. High school dropout. Overly strict parents, very religious."

She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "When she turned nineteen, we moved into our own apartment, I went to preschool, kindergarten regularly. After she had turned twenty-one and with the death of her parents, things changed. She started partying, would leave me for days on end with my dementia-ridden Great Aunt," he shuddered and continued, "until she moved into a nursing home." He paused and cleared his throat, "I was nine when she was arrested for child neglect, endangerment, and possession of a controlled substance with the intent to distribute. She was sentenced to eight years, with five year's probation."

"She was a.." she trailed off as Edward nodded. "Yeah."

"Tell me about Carlisle and Esme," she requested after he put in an order for dessert as the waitress took their half-eaten plates away.

He smiled, and relaxed back into his chair. "After you tell me something personal about yourself, something I can't learn from social media."

She tilted her head and thought for a moment before answering. "I'm all alone in the world," she said, "my parents were older when they had me in their late thirties, no extended family. Cancer took my mother when I was a toddler. My father died a few weeks after my seventeenth birthday, a routine traffic stop gone wrong. Carlisle used to come into the deli I worked at to check in on me. Our dads had played high school ball together. One really bad day he slipped an application into my tip jar."

He nodded, squeezing her hand softly, "I'm sorry."

She smiled at him reassuringly, "so, tell me about the Cullens, I sense a story there."

He laughed, "There is. I was a little hoodlum. I had only been in the foster system a few months; I didn't stay in a home for more than a few weeks at a time. I kept getting into trouble, I was seriously behind in school, I struggled to read and solve simple math problems. I was placed in a tutoring program, and I was assigned, Emmett. After watching me bounce around from home to home, he invited me over to his house for dinner. I was caught trying to steal some leftovers and juice boxes as I was putting them into my school bag. That was that; I was living with them by the end of the week."

Bella pulled her hand away from his and cut into the chocolate cake. They were both thoughtfully quiet as they polished off last of their indulgence.

She drove them back to the hotel, "sleep well, Edward. I'll meet you downstairs at seven thirty for breakfast."

"Taverna Banfi, seven thirty," he agreed and reached for his wallet to get out his keycard to his room, "and goodnight Bella." He smiled as he watched her disappear into her room for the night.

 _..._

 _"Mom?"_

 _He crept into the dimly lit room, the smoke, and loud music hurt his head, "Mom?" He moved slowly, his eyes scanning over the strangers that were strung out across his living room._

 _"Aren't you a pretty little boy," a large man cooed, giving him a decayed smile._

 _He flinched as his mother's fingers curled into his small shoulders and gave him a swift jerk, "Edward, go back to bed."_

 _"But, I'm hungry," her fingers tightened as she growled softly in his ear, "to bed, now."_

His heart thundered in his ears as he pulled his eyes open. He stomach twisted, he was worried he was starting to develop an ulcer. He rolled onto his back and stared at the red light of the alarm clock that set next to the bed.

Two: am

He reached for his phone, swiped the screen and opened Facebook. He scrolled through the trivial bullshit of politics and news articles. He liked a series of Alice's picture from her day of skiing in Aspen.

"Who this?" He commented on a picture of a young man who appeared in a series of her new photos. He moved on, politely liking a photo of Emmett and Rosalie's dog sleeping.

"Edward, why are you still awake? It's passed two in New York." His father sent him a messenger text, and before he could respond, his phone dinged again. "Nevermind, I'll just FaceTime you."

He chuckled and accepted the video call from his father, "Hey," he murmured, turning his bedside light on low.

"So, are you going to tell an old man why you're up at this late hour?" Carlisle asked, looking him over.

Edward's eyes cut away from the screen, "woke up, couldn't go back to sleep. Why are you still awake?"

"I just finished a clever documentary about genocide in Indonesia in 1960, it follows a man as he meets and interviews the individuals responsible for the death of his brother." He explained then asked his question once again, "now how about the truth?"

"Dad," he murmured.

Carlisle dropped his voice and mimicked his son's voice, "Edward." He lowered his gaze and frowned, unsure how to start. His father continued softly, "talk to me my son, I know something is wrong. I can see it, it's written all across your face."

He looked up, "is Mom still up? I should probably speak with both of you."

"I'll be right back," Carlisle left his phone on the desk, a few minutes later; he picked up his phone and walked over to the couch.

"Hey, sweetheart," his mom smiled at him, and he gave them a half-hearted grin. "Your dad says you need to talk to us."

"I didn't go to New York on business," he declared, "I received a call the other afternoon. Elizabeth passed away." He explained thickly, his voice tight with grief.

"Oh, Edward," his mother face fell, and her eyes welled with tears for him.

"And I apologize for not telling you both sooner, but I thought ... I believed this was something I should do myself." He ducked his head. "But I'm in way over my head."

"Are you okay?" his father asked him.

"No... Yes, no. I have siblings, young siblings." He explained.

"How young?"

"Newborn, then two more, almost three and five," he rubbed his beard, "she died because of some infection that she developed after having a C-section. They don't have anyone else; I'm in the process of trying to receive guardianship."

"That's..." Edward cut his dad off, "a big responsibility. I know. I didn't make the decision casually. I'll figure it all out." He promised them.

Esme smiled proudly, "of course you will, and we'll be here to help you."

"Dad, I'm going to need to take some time off," he said, running a hand through his rumpled hair.

Carlisle chuckled deeply, "I'd imagine so. Don't stress about it, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks," he yawned, giving his parents an exhausted grin.

"Go back to bed, sweetheart, we'll talk to you tomorrow," Esme ordered him softly.

"Night," he said, ending the call.

He rolled over and drifted back off quickly.

* * *

Author Note...

* * *

A big Thank you to **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing.

I pray you all are well, big hugs and lots of love.

I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and please leave a **Review**.

\- Emily


	5. Chapter 5

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Five**

…

"Oh, my gosh," Bella faked a gasp as she sat across from Edward at his breakfast table in the casual but elegant restaurant that was located in their hotel's lobby.

He set his notepad down on the table, lifted an eyebrow, and asked bemusedly, "What?"

"I've broken you," she laughed, as she eyed his plate of strawberry pancakes, sprinkled with powder sugar and a dash of whip cream.

He shook his head, "What?" He repeated.

"Nothing," she smiled to herself, as she looked over the menu.

Edward's waiter stopped at their table to refill Edward's coffee, "is she with you, Sir?" he asked politely.

"Yes."

"I'll have the small order of chocolate chip pancakes, with a vanilla latte and a side of bacon, thanks," Bella ordered, handing the waiter back the menu.

"Do you live off sugar and caffeine?" Edward asked boldly with a grin.

"And instant noodles," she winked at him as he faked a shudder, "Don't judge me. Plus did you know there's a study that claims that people who like their coffee black are more likely to have psychopathic tendencies." She eyed his cup suspiciously.

He snorted, "You have an internet addiction."

"More like phone," she smiled sweetly at him, "we're in a committed relationship. You'd be horrified to know that my phone sleeps on the pillow next to me." She snarked back. "So, what are you up to this morning?"

"Making lists," he explained, as he speared a strawberry and popped it into his mouth.

"What sort of list?" She asked as she buttered her pancakes.

He slid his notepad across the table; she read it over carefully as she started on her bacon, "Apartment up for sale?"

"If I acquire custody, I can't take them back to San Francisco to my one bedroom apartment. I'll need a house. They are going to need, a lot of stuff."

"Stuff?" Bella smirked. "Like schools, doctors, clothes, and child care."

"Yes," he nodded. He straightened in his seat and took a long sip of his black coffee, "about child care," he stated, "I had a daft idea, and I want to run it by you."

"What time did you get up?" She asked as she looked him over with critical eyes. His hair was wilder than normal, and he had dark circles under his eyes.

He ran a hand over his beard, "four thirty," he admitted, putting down his coffee cup. "I spoke with my personal lawyer. He advised that when I go to my hearing at the courthouse house that I needed to have an adequate plan for child care."

Bella nodded and asked, "You called your lawyer in the middle of the night? Forget that question," she chuckled, as she caught his aggravated sigh. "Anywho, um, what's your idea?" She asked, getting back on topic.

"How do you feel about a change of careers? At least temporarily." He asked hesitantly. He placed his napkin on his plate and pushed it away from him, "before you say, no. Hear me out, please?"

She nodded slowly, putting her fork on her plate, "Fine. Okay."

"This could benefit you as much as it could me." He stated. "You'll make double the money, and you wouldn't have to pay rent, food, utilities. You can save your money to go back to school in the fall, that's what, seven months from now, which gives me six months to find someone to take over the children's care during the day."

"What about when school starts, what am I going to do then?" She asked, pointing out a worrisome flaw in his plan. She could stay in the dorm and get a part time job, she mused.

"I'll still need an evening nanny, someone to cook dinner, help put the kids to bed, plus the occasional weekend sitter when I have to travel. The pay won't be as great, but you'll still have free room and board and the majority of your weekends off."

"That is incredibly thought out," she stated, thinking over his offer. "But, why me? You could ask your mother or your sister-in-law?"

"Because I trust you, you have a way with children. I saw it in your eyes. Do you know everything? Probably not, but you know the important things. You're certified in CPR and First Aid, you took child care class while in high school, to be a certified babysitter." He paused and looked across the table at her. "Yes, I could ask my mom or Rosalie, I'm sure they'd be willing to help, but they both have their own lives. My parents are starting to travel, take vacations, see the world. I can't ask them to put their dreams on hold."

She nodded, and inquired, "What about my cat?"

"So long as it's not a total jerk and my brothers and sister don't have any allergies, Lucy shouldn't be a problem." Edward smiled hopefully.

"Okay, so, first we need to put your apartment on the market and somehow find you a suitable house to raise four children in from across the country." She remarked, pulling in a slow breath.

Edward added and grimaced, "also, figure out how we're going to get four small children across the country." He shuddered at the thought of being trapped in an airplane for hours on end with two newborns. Between the thought of their screams and the sheer number of germs they'd be exposed to made him cringe. "How opposed are you to driving across the country?"

She raised an eyebrow, "you'd rather drive nearly three thousand miles than take an eight-hour flight?"

"Yes, because, one, flight are germy, Braxton and Holden are new, tiny, they probably have weak immune systems. Two, babies scream, three, the possibility of long layovers and bored toddlers."

"Okay, okay, point made," She nodded, "we'll drive, we can make a trip of it. Plus, it'll be good bonding time for you with your siblings before you return to work." She agreed as she took a sip of her latte.

Edward groaned internally as he watched Bella finish her breakfast as she simultaneously worked on her tablet computer.

 _Fuck. You were supposed to move her to a different floor, get her a different job, not invite her into your damn house, moron. He scolded himself._

"So what's up first today?" She asked as she closed her tablet and placed it in her purse.

"I'm going to call my realtor. Then we'll go purchase a vehicle that will seat six." He said as he paid the bill. "Wait for Mark to call."

"Sounds like a plan," she agreed, placing a few bills on the table.

...

"No, no, I'm not purchasing a minivan, just, no." Edward frowned firmly, "I don't care how many cupholders it has, Isabella, I'm not buying it."

Bella's serious expression faded as she burst into a fit of laughter, "I'm sorry, but sometimes you're way too easy."

"Funny," he grunted, "but, you're right, this vehicle is more for the children and you than myself," he stated rationally. "Which was your favorite?"

"While the Volvo and the Toyota Highlander were great, they didn't seem to accommodate four car seats very functionally," she admitted, "and the Chevy Suburban was roomy, functional, but I'm a bit intimidated by its size. If I had to choose, I'd go with the Tahoe or the Escalade with second-row bucket seats."

"The Escalade it is," he agreed, surprised by the thoughtfulness she had put into her answer. "Which color?"

"I like that blue one, I know you prefer black but I'd feel like an FBI agent driving around in a black SUV."

He chuckled at her answer and shook his head, "Fine," he agreed. He motioned over the car salesman and pointed out the SUV they had settled on after a morning of driving from dealership to dealership, "we'll take the Premier Escalade. The navy one."

Half way through the paperwork, Edward's phone rang, "I apologize, but I have to take this." He stepped away from the salesman's office and answered his phone, "Edward Cullen, speaking."

"Mr. Cullen, it's Mark Goldberg," Mark said into the line, "I called in a few favors down at the courthouse, and I managed to get you a hearing for Friday at nine in the morning. If everything goes well, you'll have custody of your siblings by noon."

"Friday, at nine." He nodded, "anything else I should know?" he asked as he rubbed at his beard.

"He'll look over all the paperwork I sent him, he'll speak with you, ask some questions, then come to his decision, it shouldn't take more than an hour." The social worker informed him. "Dress nicely. It wouldn't hurt to bring some proof that you're getting ready to take care of these children. Try not to stress too much. It'll just be you, me, and the judge."

"Thank you, Mark. We'll see you Friday." He ended the call. He took a deep breath before walking back into the office to finish up the paperwork.

He dangled the keys in front of Bella; she snatched them from him with a grin, "follow me back to the Enterprise office." He requested.

"Race ya," she teased.

She laughed as Edward yelled after her, "no, absolutely, no speeding, Isabella." She followed him back to the rental company.

"Now where, Boss?" She asked playfully, turning down the radio.

"Food, I'm sure you've already picked where we're going." He stated with amusement.

"You know what they say about assuming," she wiggled her eyebrow at him, "But as a matter of fact..." she paused and smirked at him, "I have. Burgers and fries."

He rolled his eyes, and before he could speak, Bella cut him off. "Don't. I know you secretly love a good burger. I won't even order a soda. We'll work it off later. Tonight, you can have salmon and a light salad back at the hotel." She appealed to him.

"Fine," he agreed.

She smiled triumphantly and pulled into the drive-through of a mom and pop diner. After they received their order, she drove down the street to a nearby park and parked. She smirked as he let out a soft groan as he bit into his greasy, burger.

"I talked to my parents," Edward stated, "they know." He glanced down at his watch. "They probably all know by now; grapevine that is my family." He chuckled, "My mother and Rosalie, they've put together a short list of rental houses available, all with four bedrooms." He flicked through the choices on his iPad.

Bella leaned over the console and tapped his iPad, "Not this house," she stated, and he lifted an eyebrow as she zoomed in on one of the pictures, "the staircase has no railing."

"Right," he agreed and hit the delete button and moved on to the next. Together they narrowed it down to two suitable choices. "I'd consider buying, but we're on course to expand and open another branch in eighteen months." He revealed, nibbling on a fry.

"Ah. Smart. You don't want to be tangled up with trying to sell a house while trying to buy another much more permanent one, somewhere else." She smiled catching on. She looked at the new listing that Rosalie sent him. "I think this is the house you're looking for." She smiled, showing him a picture of the Italianate Victorian home with blue siding and a bright red front door. "It's in the coveted Liberty Hill district. It's a two-unit building that has been converted to a single family home. The floor plan is open, three stories; the main and upper levels have four bedrooms and three baths and a large kitchen. The lower level has a mother-in-law suite, with its own private entry and bath."

He wiped off his hands and flicked through the pictures, he tapped out a quick message to Rosalie. "My father and Rose, they're going to go view it, make sure the pictures aren't misleading." He stated, throwing his trash away.

Bella looked over his list, "the apartment is up for sale, you've purchased a vehicle, and you found, hopefully, the house you need."

He nodded, "yeah, my personal accountant might have a stroke," he jested as he rubbed his eyes.

"Edward. Let me take you back to the hotel. You're exhausted. We've accomplished a lot today." She faked a tired yawn of her own.

Edward frowned and he looked her over, "very well," he agreed, reading the tiredness across her own face.

She gave him a grateful smile, drove them back to the hotel, and handed him the keys to the SUV. "I'll see you in the morning for breakfast, I'm going to take a nap, go for a swim, maybe order in room service, and rent a movie."

His lips quirked, "breakfast at eight," he agreed. He made sure she reached her room safely before heading down to his own.

He turned on his television, kicked off his shoes, tossed his tie on the desk and flopped down on the king size bed ungracefully. He was sound asleep before the first set of commercials came on.

...

He reached for his phone and pressed it to his ear, "Hello?" He mumbled into his cell, his voice low and raspy from being pulled out of deep sleep.

"Hey honey," his mom greeted him, followed by his father's voice, letting him know he was on speakerphone, "Edward did we wake you?"

"It's fine," he rolled over and glanced at the clock, "I needed to get up, anyways. So, what's up?"

"The house was lovely, recently remodeled," his mother approved, his father spoke before he could, "Rosalie has a few connections with the company renting out the house, and she managed to get you a year lease at an agreeable price. Don't worry about the security deposit or the first month's rent. Your mother and I took care of it."

"I'll pay you back," he promised, sitting up and massaging the back of his neck.

"And I said not to worry about it, just fax back the rental agreement with your signature," Carlisle informed him. "Now, how was your day?" He asked.

"Social worker called this morning. My court date is Friday," his father interrupted him.

"This Friday?"

"Yes, this Friday, in less than a day and a half. Elizabeth's burial is Saturday," he informed them as he fixed his hair; he grabbed his wallet and headed down to the hotel bar.

"Edward," Esme frowned, "you're avoiding," she called him out gently.

"Mama," he sighed dramatically, making him feel like a child under her roof again, "I'm not evading the question. I'm stressed. I'm trying to rearrange my entire life."

"And how is that going?" she asked, her tone softened with understanding.

"Hold a sec," he muted his call and ordered his dinner, "and a double shot of Johnny Walker Blue, neat, thanks." He placed a tip on the counter before, resuming his call, "back, sorry. I had a productive day. I hired a nanny, I bought a vehicle, Rosalie put my apartment up for sale, and I started a book on infant care; it's terrifying. I'd rather read a Stephen King novel." He grunted and rolled his eyes as his father tried to muffle his laughter. "Mom, I know you partially retired, but would you mind..."

"Of course sweetheart," she agreed before he could finish with his request for her to furnish the house.

He smiled at his own good fortune. "Thanks, I'll send you a budget later." He took a sip of the rich, smoky whiskey that burned its way down his throat, "and I hate to ask," he paused briefly to take in his parents' shared chuckle ... he could picture them trading glances. "Could you hire a child-proofing company tomorrow, I'm sure you know the best one to use, send me a copy of the agreement, contract, something."

"We'll do that," his father said Edward turned on his tablet and opened Facebook. "And Edward, I'll admit, I had some initial reservations, but I see you're taking on this responsibility as seriously as you have always done. I'm, we're very proud of you."

Edward's ears burned and he finished his glass. He raised it up to the bartender.

"Who's the guy hanging off Alice?" He blurted out with a frown, as he scrolled through her newest pictures.

"Jasper Whitlock," Edward wrinkled his nose, the name sounded oddly familiar.

His father added before he could ask, sensing his blank. "He's a catcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers."

He shook his head and objected firmly, "he's too old for her."

"Who's too old for who?" Bella asked curiously, dropping down into the seat next to him at the bar. He could smell the chlorine on her skin, her wet hair was styled in a messy side braided, a simple, royal blue sundress covered up her bathing suit.

She ordered a Cherry Coke as he turned his attention back to his phone. "Mom, Dad, I've got to go," he declared, "love you too," he added before ending the call. "Alice, she's recently started spending a lot of time with Jasper Whitlock." He informed Bella, showing her a picture of the young couple.

Bella chewed on her bottom lip, "he's not that old, he's what, twenty-eight at the most. I also imagine he's financially secure, he plays professional ball, so he's not interested in Alice's trust."

"She's too young to be tangling herself up with some guy," Edward stated, downing his glass. "She needs to enjoy her discovery year, go back to school, get a few more years of life under her belt before she starts anything serious." He scoffed, "Baseball player. She's going to get hurt."

Bella held back a grin, "One. She's not a little girl anymore, Edward. You can't control what makes or who makes her happy. I know your heart is in the right place, but Alice is far more mature than you want to realize. So step back and have some faith in her." She squeezed his hand once.

He grunted, rolling her words over in his mind as he let out a long sigh.

"And she's young; maybe it's not as serious as you're imagining. They could just be having fun together while they're in the same place at the same time. Don't stress out until after you speak with her. Remember she flies to Europe in six weeks for that backpacking trip she's been planning for months."

His shoulders loosened, and he cocked an eyebrow at her, "how do you that?"

"I'm Bella, it's what I do," she smirked at him; her soft brown eyes glinted with amusement.

He shook his head.

She pushed his whiskey glass away and told the bartender, "He'll have water, no lemon." She placed an individual packet of Unisom SleepGel in front of him, "and an oatmeal cookie when he finishes his fish," she ordered for him.

"Bella?"

"Take the medicine with a mug of hot lavender tea. Your tea will be brought to your room at nine. Get a good night's rest, you need it." She said, accepting her to-go container. "Oh, also on TNT at eight thirty is a rerun of The Goonies. See you at breakfast, Edward."

Before he could respond, she glided away from the bar.

* * *

Author Note...

* * *

A big Thank you to **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing.

I pray everyone is doing wonderfully. Second grade is kicking my butt with it's never ending art projects.

This chapter was brought to you by Pepsi and endless episodes of Caillou, Paw Patrol, and DanTDM Youtube videos.

I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and please leave a **Review**.

\- Emily


	6. Chapter 6

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Six**

 **...**

Bella smiled softly as she watched as Edward run his hands over his suit jacket. She couldn't quite decide if it was more gray or blackish, she tilted her head and took a second look, charcoal she determined.

The suit fit him well, she figured it was custom tailored and probably worth at least three of her paychecks. His tie was a soft tan against his light blue dress shirt. She smirked to herself; she knew he had put a lot of thought into his outfit.

The choice of attire made him look, calm, professional, and trustworthy.

His personal style set him apart in San Francisco, his designer suits, and formal nature went against the casual attire and laid back manner of his peers. "You look great," she said reassuringly as she checked her own appearance. She had selected a conservative green dress and paired it with a navy cardigan and a simple pair of flats that would be ideal for chasing around toddlers.

She caught his eye in the mirror as her curiosity got the best of her, "why do you wear a suit every day?" she asked intrigued, "it's not exactly the norm, back home."

"They remind me who I'm not, anymore. I'm a Cullen. Well educated, cultured, successful. In a way, they keep me focused on who I want to be, not who I was." He revealed. He had spent the last two decades shaping himself into the man he wanted to be. Yet, from time to time, he still saw the scrawny, dirty, thief of a boy he had once been. "Plus, appearances matter."

She turned around to face him. He was rewarded with a smile for his honesty. They both knew the judge's first reaction of them would be based on how they physically presented themselves.

"Unfortunately that's true," she agreed with a firm frown. It wasn't always fair, but it was one of the harsh truths of the world. "How are you feeling?" She asked a touch of worry in her voice.

"I'm fine." He stated a bit stiffly, rubbing a hand over his well-trimmed beard.

She lifted an eyebrow and frowned at him.

He flushed, "truthfully, I think I'm going to be sick," he tugged at his light blue collar, his green eyes were wild. Bella guessed he was on the edge of a panic attack.

"Deep breaths, in, out," she instructed calmly, breathing with him, "No. No puking. If you throw up, you'll have to change," she squeezed his shoulders as he sat on the edge of his bed, and let out a weak chuckle, "There, we've, you've totally got this Edward."

"You think?" He asked quietly, lifting his head up to meet her eyes. Bella breath seized, from time to time, she'd catch a glimpse of his less confident, vulnerable side that made her want to protect him.

She massaged his shoulders gently, stepping out of her professional mindset and into her supportive, best friend role, her brown eyes softened, "completely, you're a pretty great guy, Edward. You may not see it but the judge will if they have any good sense."

His lips twitched, "right."

"Edward, truly. The court, the social workers, they wants this. They want to place children with their relatives. It lessens the strain on the foster care system. You've put together a strong case; they'd be fools not to see that you're more than capable. You've gone above and beyond for them. We spent all day yesterday shopping, we have the car seats, the diaper bags are fully loaded. We have the pull-ups, formula, and two suitcases full of children clothes. You've got this."

She pulled her hands away from his shoulders, "now here's a mint," she pressed the red and white candy into his palm, "it'll calm your stomach."

He unwrapped the peppermint and placed it in his mouth as he followed her down to their SUV. The drive went by much quicker than Edward would have liked. Bella hummed along quietly to the music, leaving him to his thoughts.

He shook hands with Mark Goldberg before they stepped into the small courtroom. A room, he guessed that was used for informal custody cases, adoptions, maybe even divorces. It wasn't nearly as intimidating as the large room down the hall.

Edward swallowed and discreetly wiped his sweaty palms against his slacks. Bella gave him a soft grin, placed his folder on the desk in front of them and quickly organized it. He was surprised to see a series of photos in one stack.

He lifted an eyebrow at her, and she shrugged and gave him a look as if to say, 'thought they might be helpful.' He shook his head slightly in amazed amusement.

Together they rose to their feet and sat back down as instructed, "good morning," the Judge greeted them.

"Good morning, Your Honor," they all spoke in unison.

Edward smiled reflexively at the judge. Her dark hair was starting to gray as if she had recently decided to embrace her age and stop coloring her hair, but it was her heterochromia that made her instantly recognizable. The single, blue and brown eyes that had fascinated him throughout his own adoption hearing. Her face was stern but kind and held far more wrinkles than he remembered, no doubt from age and years of making difficult decisions, day in and day out. She shuffled through the records in front of her.

"I'm sorry for how you lost your mother," she spoke kindly. Edward nodded respectfully, acknowledging her words, but there was a small part of him, still bitter and angry that wanted to pop off and correct her, but he kept his mouth smartly shut. "And I see here that you're the only living relative, that we can locate," she paused to looked him over.

Edward nodded once more, "yes Your Honor, that is correct."

"And Mr. Goldberg, what is your recommendation for placement of these children?" She asked, turning her full attention on Mark.

"Your Honor, it's my personal belief that these children will be better off remaining together and placed in the custody of their eldest brother, Mr. Cullen. He has shown remarkable character by simply showing up, and he has a willingness to provide these children a safe and stable home."

"And you," she pushed her glasses up her nose and looked over a document on her desk, "Miss Swan," Bella sat up even straighter upon being called, "do you believe that Mr. Cullen can provide a home for these children?"

"I do," Bella stated firmly. The judge lifted an eyebrow and Bella continued on hastily, "I've known Edward for over a year now, Your Honor. The first thing I learned was that he's a good man, and when I say good, I really mean it, like the salt of the earth; good to the bone." She blushed a little, "he's very hardworking, more often than not one of the smartest guys in the room, while he's very successful and passionate about his career, he's a family man first. I'm not just saying that. I can provide you with proof if I must." She held up the series of pictures.

The judge nodded, "I'd like to see them." A young Bailiff collected the pictures and handed them to the judge. "What exactly am I looking at here?" She asked.

"That first picture is a copy of his last month's schedule. If you look at the purple highlights, those are his family obligations. You'll see he eats lunch at least once a week with his father, every other Sunday he goes to his parents for dinner. He always makes time to calls his sister back, regularly hangs out with his older brother. The way he looks up to his adopted father, I assure you, his siblings will look at Edward the very same way." Bella kept her eyes on the judge, the tips of her ears burned, afraid she had said too much.

Edward squeezed her hand quickly before pulling away. Neither spoke, as the judge looked through the pictures that Bella had put together the night before. There was a photo of Edward with his siblings, one of him at his computer, researching child care and making lists, the last few were of Edward speaking with a couple members of the Ithaca Fire Department as they showed them how to properly install the child seats.

"And Mr. Cullen, do you realize the enormity of the decision, you're making here today?"

"I do Your Honor," he affirmed.

"And you do realize children need more than money to care for them?"

"I do, Your Honor, but having a sizable income will make it all the easier to provide my brothers and sister with the resources they will need to have bright and successful futures." He stated coolly.

"And do you have anything else you'd like to state?" She asked.

"Yes Your Honor," he paused to take a steadying breath, "all I'm asking is that you give these children the same chance you gave me, twenty years ago. A family. A future. I'll make sure they're well cared for. I know it'll be hard, difficult. I may even want to quit at times but I won't, because you don't quit on your family. You do for family Ma'am. I'll do my best for them. That I promise you." He gave her a small nod and turned to Bella who gave him a wide smile.

"Mr. Cullen, it pleases me to say this. I find you're a fit and suitable guardian for these children. I hereby grant you full guardianship of, Asher James, Mia Grace, Braxton Thomas, and Holden William Mason." She gave a small chuckle, "I sure hope you know what you're in for. I pray my courtroom sees more men like you. Good luck, you're going to need it."

"Thank you, Your Honor." He let out a deep breath as the room cleared. He found himself with an armful of Bella.

She pulled back and beamed at him, "see, I told you, you totally had this."

He laughed softly and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't believe,"

"You better believe it," Mark Goldberg chuckled as he shook both of their hands, "follow me to the family services office, you can meet the foster families and collect the children."

"They're ready?" Edward asked surprised.

Mark smiled as he shook his head fondly and corrected, "they're waiting. Let's just say I had a good feeling about the outcome today."

Bella gave Edward a smug smile, he rolled his eyes, "we'll follow you."

"Don't say it," Edward chuckled as the passenger door closed, and Bella clicked on her seatbelt.

"Oh. I'm so gonna say it," she teased, her eyes bright and warm.

He faked a groan as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot and up to the stop sign behind Mark's teal minivan. "I told you so," she stated with a laugh that made him grin.

He followed Mark, taking extra care to follow the laws. Bella's eyes remained firmly focused on slicing fruit in half on her phone as he drove. He pulled into an empty parking spot.

He broke the silence first, "are these people fucking crazy. I can't take these kids home," Edward murmured, going a bit cold, "I have no freaking clue what the hell I'm doing."

Bella blinked and smiled slowly, giving him a look of pure confidence, "you'll be fine. You have a nanny. Remember?"

He snorted.

"Seriously, I promise, I won't leave your side until you're comfortable."

He nodded, he felt calmer, his stomach not as twisted. Worry still ate at him, but these nerves were different, more settled, his eyes darted to Bella's. He really didn't want to look too close as to why that would be.

"Want me to go in with you?" She asked.

"I think that'd be best," he agreed, climbing out and grabbing one of the infant car seats, as Bella gathered the other and the diaper bag. He cursed himself mentally for not thinking of the bag.

He followed her into the Office of Family Services where Mark was waiting for them; he led them down to the large playroom.

Edward eyed the two couples. One was a young, with pleasant smiles. The other, an older man and woman, a pair who had made a life fostering children.

"Edward!" Asher's face lit up, and he dropped the fake sword he had been playing with, he bolted across the room and wrapped his arms around Edward's leg.

"Hey Alligators," he chuckled, ruffling his hair. He was pleased to see Mia running towards them. He caught her in his arms and hugged her close. He scooped up Asher in his other arm and carried them over to the car seats. "Look at you boys, both awake I see," he chuckled as he stared down at the pair of newborns. They were tiny and a bit intimidating.

He once again wanted to ask if they had all gone crazy. Instead, he glanced over at Bella, "I think they've grown." He received chuckles, and he placed his brother and sister back on their feet, "go play for a few more minutes," he watched them eye him before hesitantly returning to their play.

"Edward Cullen," he introduced himself to the couples, shaking each of their hands fondly. "I wanted to thank you, it's important what you all do...very important. I greatly appreciate that you opened your homes and your hearts to my brothers and sister. I wanted to take a moment to personally assure you that I'll take care of them."

He shook their hands once more, he watched from a polite distance as they said their goodbyes. His heart ached for the young couple who left with the empty car seats.

He glanced down at Holden in his arms as Braxton lounged lazily in Bella's. He signed a few more documents.

Mark handed him a folder of paperwork, "everything's set, you're free to go," he announced jovially. "I've arranged for a social worker for you back home to stop by a few times over the next six months, just to make sure everything is going along okay, standard procedure," he assured them.

Edward nodded, he shook Mark's hand firmly, "Thank you." He followed Bella's lead and placed Holden into his new, red and black car seat. "Hope you're comfortable, guys," he told the boys, as he scooped up one of the car seats. They were top of the line and had a number of awards for the extra protection and safety they offered.

He lifted Mia up with his free arm, and Asher took Bella's free hand as they followed him out of the office. He opened the back door and let Mia climb up into the Escalade before he clicked Holden's into his car seat base. He went around and held Braxton's car seat as Bella climbed in after Asher.

"Pretty," Mia complimented her colorful, Britax car seat as Bella latched her in.

"It is." She agreed, before turning to Asher who was clicking himself into his own, five-point harness like a pro, "cool, I've got cupholders."

She climbed out of the back and into the passenger seat as Edward placed Braxton's into his base and headed for the driver's seat. They traded a look after he fastened his own seatbelt.

He glanced in the rearview mirror.

"Are we going or not?" Asher blurted out after a long minute.

"We're going, we're going," Edward assured him and carefully pulled out of the parking lot, his heart hammering in his chest as he drove across town and back to their hotel.

* * *

Author Note...

* * *

A big Thank you to **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing.

I pray everyone is well. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and for those who celebrate, a Happy Easter.

I apologize for the delay. Spring break was crazy busy. I took my kids on a 1,000-mile drive up to my Mom's. We had some much-needed fun with her. But, I'm calling her out... She's always been an oversharer, this time she went too far. She gave her nasty, nasty chest cold. I spent a week in bed once we got back home.

This chapter was brought to you by Kodi and a bottle of ginger ale. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and please leave a **Review!**

\- Emily


	7. Chapter 7

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Seven**

 **...**

Braxton wailed; his little face was bright red. His cries sounded similar to a baby goat, Edward mused as he rubbed his temple. "Shh... B," he murmured desperately, staring down at the small bundle that had squirmed out of his blanket after Edward had placed him in the middle of the bed.

His eyes darted over to Holden, who continued to sleep peacefully in his car seat, undisturbed by his brother's meltdown. "What do you want, Brax?" He asked the boy, as he yanked a hand through his untidy hair.

Asher rolled over and glanced up at his big brother, "maybe his diaper?" the almost, six-year-old suggested.

"I've changed him, he's dry, he's fed and burped. He shouldn't be crying," Edward stated with a puzzled frown as Braxton continued to scream.

Asher shrugged, "well, I wish he'd stop," he grumbled under his breath as he turned the volume up a few notches on the television as his attention refocused on the cartoons playing across the screen.

"Me and you both kid," Edward agreed. Scooping up the newborn, he began trying once more to calm the infant with a few gentle pats on his back, the way he had observed Bella doing earlier.

The bathroom door opened slowly, Mia shuffled out with her pink and purple pull-up around her ankles and a pack of wipes in one hand, "needs help," she requested softly around her pacifier.

Edward's eyebrows rose, "I," he froze as the color drained from his face, and a look of horror settled across his features. Braxton squirmed against him and let out a new wave of fury.

"Shh.." He whispered faintly to Braxton as Mia continued to gaze up at him expectantly. He stared back at her a bit lost. His fingers itched for his phone; it'd only take him a second to send out an SOS text.

"Thank God," he breathed as the hotel door swung open and Bella stepped through with her suitcase. "What the hell took so long?" He snapped quietly, but there was no bite to his words, just desperation.

"Language," she chided, giving him a pointed look.

He rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry, where have you been?" He rephrased the question, as he gently jostled Braxton trying to stop his fit.

"I wasn't anticipating this move; I had to pack," she explained, placing her suitcase in the small closet. "I thought they'd sleep a little longer," she smiled sympathetically, "sorry," she took Mia's hand and led her back into the bathroom.

A minute later, they re-emerged from the restroom; Mia was redressed and smiling as she climbed up next to Asher.

"Give him here," Bella requested as she suppressed a grin as Edward gently pushed Braxton into her awaiting arms, "When you panic, they panic," she murmured. Patting and rocking him, he let out a small, foul-smelling belch and her nose scrunched up as gooey warmth spread down her shirt.

"I'll... uh," Edward smirked, his eyes softened with amusement, "I'll get you a rag," he stated.

"Thanks," she said a touch dryly. "Grab him a new pair of pajamas," she requested, as she accepted the damp cloth and cleaned up as best as she could.

She wiped Braxton down and changed his pajamas, "so many buttons," she mumbled, before placing him on her clean shoulder. She rocked him steadily until his fussing, quieted and he drifted off.

Edward moved across the room and removed the twin bassinet pack n' play from its packaging. He read over the instructions and was halfway through putting it together when Bella broke the silence between them, "you know, you could've handled Mia," she murmured, "all she needed was a wipe and a fresh pull-up."

He glanced up as his ears burned, "she's a little girl."

"So?" Bella asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"So," he repeated, trying to keep his voice low, "she has little girl parts," he stretched the words out, "I just, it hadn't occurred to me before that moment, I had a bit of mental freak out, all right?" He ducked his head and continued to jerk and tug at the pack n' play, trying to get all the sides to lock and stay up.

Bella stayed quiet, she waited patiently for him to continue, she could tell by his body language he had more to add, "I don't want to hurt her or do something wrong somehow"

"Oh," Bella said softly, understanding crossing her face.

He let out a long sigh, "I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's how I feel."

"It's not. This, all of this must feel very overwhelming." She shot him a smile, "I'm just your nanny, and I'm overwhelmed."

He smiled, "it's easier with the boys," he admitted, looking up guiltily from the instruction book in his hands. "Especially a boy like Asher. I sort of know what I'm doing," he confessed, "but Mia, she's this whole new world, and it's terrifying. It's not just the fact she has little girl parts, but the entire fact that she's a little girl, little girls grow into young ladies and then into women. How the fu... heck am I going to raise her into a strong, well-rounded woman?"

"You'll be fine; you won't hurt her. The very fact you are worried about such things shows that she will grow to be just fine," she reassured him, "I have no doubt you'll figure out how to care for a Mia just as well as you do the boys." She stood and stretched, "I'm going to go shower and change. Knock if you need anything. And Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"YouTube the instruction video," She smirked over at him, giving her cellphone a little shake at him before she put it down and grabbed a clean shirt from her suitcase.

Two youtube videos and about fifteen pauses later, Edward stood back and grinned at his accomplishment. 'Ha. Take that Graco," he grumbled smugly.

He carefully moved the twin's one at a time across the room and placed them in their new temporary bed.

"We're hungry," Asher broke the silence after he turned down the volume on the television.

Edward glanced down at his watch and was surprised to find it was nearly dinnertime. Where had the day gone he wondered? He picked up the room service menu that seemed to be nearly the same as the restaurant downstairs. He flipped to the children's section.

"What would you like, Mac n' Cheese or Grilled Chicken?" Asher's nose curled up in disgust as he said cheese.

"Chicken," Mia smiled. Edward blinked, startled to see her grin without her pacifier dangling between her teeth.

"Yeah, chicken sounds good." Asher agreed easily.

"Milk or apple juice?" He offered, writing down their order.

"What! No soda?" Asher frowned as he raised a skeptical eyebrow.

Edward's lips thinned, "nope, doesn't come with the kid meals," he lied easily. He knew, had a sinking suspicion of their dietary habits under Elizabeth's care.

"Juice," Asher grumbled as Mia chirped, "milk."

* * *

Did we really do it?" Edward whispered across the room towards Bella as she placed Mia on the pull out couch next to Asher who was snoring quietly with his arms wrapped around his new stuffed dragon.

"I think we did," she smiled, picking up the scattered toys and placing them in their correct bags. "We better get some sleep, I'm sure Holden or Brax will be up soon wanting another bottle or diaper change."

"Agreed," Edward yawned, carrying his toiletry bag towards the bathroom.

Bella washed the bottles in the sink and laid out the children's funeral clothes for the next morning, before crawling into the spare full bed and falling asleep before Edward returned from the shower.

* * *

"Edward... psst... Edward," Asher whispered, "Edward?" He called a little louder.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked quietly, from her own bed, taking in the three a.m. glow of the alarm clock on the nightstand that set between her bed and Edward's.

"What?" Edward groaned as he sat up, rubbing at his face and tired eyes.

"Are you awake?" Asher asked Edward quietly, his voice soft with embarrassment.

Bella smiled into the darkness as she climbed out of bed and turned on the low light, to softly illuminate the room.

"Yeah kid, what's wrong?" Edward asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"I, uh... I..." he stuttered, face glowing red.

"He's tee'd the bed," Mia explained for him a matter of factly.

"Tee'd..." Edward repeated, and then his face softened with understanding, "Oh."

"I'll start the bath," Bella said, leading the children towards the bathroom, "grab fresh clothes, Ed." She instructed.

Edward sat on the toilet near the tub after helping peel Asher's soiled clothes from his body. Bella kneeled next to the tub and helped them finish bathing. She yawned a little and shook her head. Edward smiled softly as he watched Bella's wash Mia's hair.

He really was the most stupid man on earth, he groused at himself as he tried to ignore the effects the water had on Bella's white t-shirt, revealed the fact that she slept without her bra.

"Done," Asher stood, breaking Edward out of his thoughts as he held out a towel and helped him out of the water.

Together Edward and Bella managed to get them dried and redressed for bed. Bella scooped up Mia and placed her up on her bed next to her, "go back to sleep sweet girl," she whispered, closing her eyes.

Edward groaned as a soft cry pierced the room and Bella opened her eyes reluctantly. "I'll make the bottles," Edward groaned as he rolled out of bed as Bella headed over to pick up Holden from his bassinet.

"How important is sleep again?" Edward asked with a yawn as he passed over one of the bottles.

"I don't think the sandman is coming to visit either of us for a while," Bella stated softly with a tired chuckle.

* * *

The morning arrived earlier than either of them were ready for, but somehow in their sleepy haze, they managed to start the coffee pot and feed and change the twins.

"I think we just became best friends," Edward murmured dorkily to his Styrofoam cup as he downed his black coffee and went for another.

"Psychopath," Bella murmured teasingly as she eyed his cup with a smirk.

Edward rolled his eyes and shot back, "are you going to add any coffee to that sugary milk mess you've concocted in your cup?"

"Yes," she snorted as she placed her caramel macchiato creamer back into the mini fridge, "I like to add a splash of coffee to my cream and sugar."

Edward laughed as he went to collect their room service.

Bella placed Mia and Asher's plates on the table before going to wake them. She ushered them towards the table gently, helping Mia into her chair.

"What this?" Asher asked, eyeing his plate.

"Eggs, toast, and strawberries, eat up," Edward instructed as Mia dug into her plate without hesitation. Asher shrugged and nibbled on his toast, before finally trying the cut up fried egg.

"See, not bad," Edward stated.

His heart clenched painfully as Asher mumbled around a strawberry, "food's, food."

Edward placed his cup down; he could remember muttering those same words to Esme as a boy.

 _'Do like the potatoes, Edward?' Esme's gentle voice cut across the dinner table._

 _He shrugged and eyed her warily, unsure of how to answer as his tongue burned._

 _Carlisle cleared his throat, "what about the chicken, Son?"_

 _His eyes darted to Emmett who smirked at him and rolled his eyes. His lips quirked upwards, 's'fine.' He mumbled quietly._

 _'Are you sure, Dear? It's not too spicy or hot?' Esme asked, watching him with worried eyes as he pushed the food around his plate._

 _He sighed and placed another spicy potato in his mouth and muttered,_ _'food's, food, Ma'am_ _.' He wasn't about to admit he hated it, afraid his plate would disappear._

Edward shook his head, pushing the memory away. He wondered briefly if his words hurt her as much as Asher's stung him.

He turned and watched as Bella helped Mia into her charcoal dress, with a small black bow on the front.

"Done?" He asked Asher, who nodded and pushed his plate away as he gulped down his glass of milk. "Go wash your hands and face." He instructed quietly. When he returned, he helped Asher into his suit before heading into the bathroom to change into his own black suit.

Edward wasn't exactly sure how they made it out of the hotel on time. He glanced at Bella who gave him a brief smile as she checked the diaper bag while he pulled out of the hotel parking lot.

The cold morning air breezed against their cheeks as they climbed out of the SUV. The sky was cloudy and gray, fitting, Edward thought as he handed Bella one of the infant car seats. He gave her a single nod, letting her know he was okay.

He helped Mia climb out before he unlatched the other seat. He made sure the carrier was properly covered before lifting it out of the vehicle. He took a deep breath and glanced down as Asher's gloved hand slipped into his as they walked into the funeral home.

Edward placed Holden's seat on the entryway bench and helped Asher out of his new winter coat. He then straightened his tie. His lips curled up in a soft, comforting grin as their eyes connected and Asher copied his actions and straightened his black, clip-on tie.

"Time to say goodbye?" Asher asked his voice dull and brittle making Edward's heart lurch as his young green eyes searched Edward's with too much understanding for his age.

"It is," Edward agreed and held out his hand to him. "Together we can do this," he promised, his tone and words seemed to be an echo of his father's. He squeezed gently as Asher placed his hand in his.

He gave Kenneth, the funeral director a respectful nod, as Asher and he stepped into the reception room.

The casket was a light, beautiful oak, surrounded by multiple arrangements of flowers, more than Edward had ordered. He placed Holden's car seat down on the bench next to Braxton, Bella, and Mia.

Mia didn't speak or look up from the doll she held close

"Mom's sleeping?" Asher asked confused, turning to look at him.

"No, Ash." Edward shook his head, "she's gone."

"You mean she's dead," he sniffed a bit, scrunching up his stuffy nose.

"Correct," he nodded, kneeling down in front of him. "Mom," the word felt strange on his tongue, "she got really sick, too sick. Her body stopped working. She's not sleeping. Your body continues to works when you're sleeping, your heart, your lungs." He explained, putting a hand over his beating heart.

Asher copied his older brother's nod. "She's not coming back, she won't start working again?" He asked quietly after a minute.

"No, I'm sorry Ash." Edward's voice cracked, tears stung his eyes.

"So, we really get to live with you forever? You'll be like our Dad or whatever?" His tone shifted from sad to heartbreakingly hopeful.

"Yes, you're coming home with me," Edward assured him as he hugged him close and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He sat down on the bench between Mia and Asher.

"Are you going to die?" He asked, moving onto Edward's lap.

"No, Kid. Don't worry. I'm healthy, and I plan to be here to take care of you guys for a long time," he promised, placing his arm around him when Asher curled into his chest.

Edward jumped as a strong, firm hand squeezed his shoulder, "Edward."

"Dad," Edward stated in shock, as Asher moved off his lap.

"You seem surprised," Carlisle chuckled, "you didn't believe I'd make you do this by yourself, did you?"

"I," Edward floundered as he stood. Relief and anguish battled across his features as he stared at his father with gratitude.

Carlisle nodded sadly, "I know, Son."

Bella slid down the bench to make room for Carlisle.

"Where's mom?" Edward finally asked, looking over his father's shoulder.

"She caught a bug yesterday, so I had her stayed home to rest." Carlisle explained, "she wishes she could be here though, Son."

Edward nodded understandingly, "I'm glad you came," he admitted quietly missing his father's smile as he turned his gaze back to Holden. "This is Holden," he introduced the sleeping boy in his left arm. "That's Braxton," he nodded to the child in Bella's arms, "this is Mia and Asher. Asher, Mia, this is my father, Carlisle."

"Hi," Asher murmured, tucking himself into Edward's side.

Carlisle stared at the young boy in surprise, "I know, he could be my clone," Edward stated, noticing his father's expression.

Carlisle chuckled fondly, "that he could, my boy."

Edward sat next to his father while keeping an arm around Asher's thin shoulder. Mia settled next to Bella, hugging her doll close as she suckled her pacifier silently as her large hazel eyes seemed to take everything in.

Several of Elizabeth's friends strolled into the room. Edward held his head up as his eyes swept over the strange assortment of people, many he assumed were from her apartment complex. He lifted Mia onto his lap. He wondered to himself if any of the men present could possibly be a father to one or more of his siblings.

He turned his attention back to his mother's casket as her old reverend and fellow member of her court-ordered Alcoholics Anonymous group started to speak.

He listened quietly as he spoke of his mother's life. Her troubled past, her will to always try better herself, even when she failed time and time again, the smile she always tried to bring to every meeting. The love she had for her children. Edward's jaw tightened and anger burned through his veins.

Carlisle squeezed his knee comfortingly; he let out a slow breath as tears burned his eyes. He glanced down at Asher, "it's okay to cry," he murmured, brushing away a few of his tears. "I'm sad too."

Asher's chin trembled as he hid his face into Edward's side.

Bella lifted Holden from his arms and carried him to the back of the room to feed and quiet him as he fussed.

Edward stood and shook hands with everyone who came as they pushed their condolences and little remembrances of his mother on him. A few of the woman hugged him, much to his discomfort. Many wished him luck, as they turned sad, pitying eyes on his siblings.

"What's gonna happen to Mom now?" Asher asked after Edward helped him say his goodbyes and place a picture in her coffin.

Edward swallowed, "well, in a few months, when the ground thaws outside and the air gets warmer, they'll bury her out at the cemetery, in the ground next to her mom and dad."

"Will it be pretty there?" Asher asked, and continued on as if to explain, "Mom likes pretty places."

"Yeah, it's nice there, lots of flowers," Edward assured him and gave his shoulder a small squeeze. "Go get your jacket on, gloves; it's time to go Bud."

Edward stared down at his mother. More emotions than he wanted to process, swirled inside him. He didn't notice as Bella moved up beside him until she squeezed his hand comfortingly, "you need this, Edward. Stay. Say your peace and your goodbye. As long as you keep burying your pain, you'll never be able to heal."

He cast her a long, sideways glance and wondered if she was really as young as twenty. Finally, he gave her a tight nod of agreement, accepting her words as true.

"Dad," he turned to Carlisle, who was cradling Braxton to his chest, "will you take them back to the hotel? I'll try and be back for dinner."

"Very well," Carlisle agreed as Bella handed him a set of keys.

"We'll see you for dinner, I found this really fun place to eat on TripAdvisor," Bella called to him. He rolled his eyes affectionately as she led his father and siblings out of the funeral home.

* * *

 **Author Note...**

* * *

A big Thank you to **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing. Seriously, she's awesome.

I pray everyone is doing great :)

Life swept me up in a crazy, crazy ride since Easter. I started to get headaches, major fatigue. Nope, not dying, it turns out I'm pregnant. :-O . Follow by my son, he had his tonsils out in May, then school let out, just as I started to find our Summer rhythm and feel a little better June took us by storm. My sister went into labor a few weeks early, so I had to head to her house earlier than expected and help take care of my nieces, while she recovered and for the baby to get out of NICU. I am now home and all is well. :)

This chapter was brought to you by my pestering muse, a good amount of guilt for taking so long to get back to my keyboard.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a **Review!**

Much Love,

\- Emily


	8. Chapter 8

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Eight**

 **...**

"There's no drinking in here, Sir," Kenneth explained as he sat down next to Edward.

Edward eyed the funeral director, level-headedly. He was older; his moss-colored eyes were warm with understanding. He was a sensitive soul, who had seen more than his fair share and yet he still seemed to ooze comfort and quiet companionship. He had certainly mastered his profession, Edward mused.

He held up more than a few hundred-dollar bills in a silent offer for him to look the other way. He took another sip from his flask as Kenneth shook his head sadly and pushed the bills away, "so long as you don't make a scene," he relented, Edward agreed with a simple nod of his head.

"I'm not going to get plastered," Edward reassured him quietly, turning his eyes back to Elizabeth, "privacy, please." he requested, loosening his tie.

"Of course. I'll call a cab when you're ready." Kenneth stood, he slid the door closed and hung a privacy sign on the door.

Edward stared at his mother and took another swig. The liquid felt thick and heavy against his tongue as it burned through him, loosening his tongue.

"I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say," he murmured, staring at the drink in his hand. He snorted bitterly, "it's not like you can hear me, is it?" He deadpanned.

His lips curled up, and for the first time in days, he let himself feel the bitterness that ate at him whenever he let himself think of Elizabeth. "Guess, I should start with, this bourbon is absolute shit," he grunted in distaste, "shouldn't be surprised, since I found it in your cupboard."

He rolled his shoulders and let out a deep breath. "You were an awful mother," he spat coldly, "and yet, It took me years to reach the point where I didn't care that you never tried to contact me," he chuckled a bit darkly. "And truthfully, I haven't thought of you in over a decade. Well, that's not entirely true; it's funny how the bad memories stick around, far longer than the good, eh?"

He shuddered, "I remember more than I'll ever admit," he revealed, swirling the drink in his hand. "My Mom, she's proud of me, you know, but if she could see inside of me right now, it'd scare her to death," he ran a hand over his well-trimmed beard.

He stared at her casket quietly. "You should know, I've forgiven you. I came to understand your position, the reasons you made the horrible choices you did. The drugs, the proposition," he sighed. "I realized you probably did love me and that you were trying to do the best you could, with what little you had," he took another small sip, "but for repeating the cycle, for that, I'm not sure I can forgive you," he admitted.

"And that's got me all sorts of messed up. I feel guilty ... like I did something wrong," he clenched his jaw and forced himself to breathe. "Like, I damned those children because I never tried to contact you. Trust me, had I known, I would've watched out for him, had CPS all over your case, keeping you in line, making sure you were providing a good home."

He took another deep breath to try and soothe the deep ache inside his chest. "I had a good... no correction; I have a great life, which I know you were aware of. I found Esme's letters," his eyes watered, "good Lord, she likes to gush," he chuckled sadly, tucking the letters into her casket along with the flask and a few pictures of his siblings.

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, "I'm so fucking mixed up," he confessed raggedly. "I hate you, I hate the choices you made, I hate how the drugs stole your potential." His lips tightened, "as fucked up as it is, I still love you, after everything," he admitted sourly, "and I don't owe you a damn thing, but I'll raise them. For them."

He brushed a tear away, reached forward and gripped the side of her casket, "later alligator," he murmured as the blood started to roar in his ears. He tried to focus and force himself to breathe as his heartbeat accelerated. He shook his head roughly as his vision clouded, and he pushed away from her casket. He needed to get away; he stumbled backward until his back was pressed against the closed door.

He clutched his phone tightly, unable to dial, his chest continued to heave as if he had just finished the San Francisco Marathon. He rubbed at his heart as he fought against his tears. Pain flared through his veins as chest tightened, and bile rose up his throat.

He scrambled out of the viewing room and made his way down to the bathroom.

"Shh... whoa now, steady," Kenneth helped Edward back to his feet and over to a soft chair that sat in the corner of the restroom, "sip this, eat that," he passed him water and a small chocolate bar.

"Sorry," he croaked, his voice weak and cracked. He felt raw and exposed.

Kenneth nodded thoughtfully, "no need to apologize," he waved him off, "it happens. Don't go thinking you're the first person who's been in that chair."

At Edward's silence, Kenneth continued, "grief takes a toll on all of us, especially when one tries to restrain their emotions. I suspect, your relationship with your mother was a complicated one, possibly past abuse, maybe estrangement. Those issues, coupled with grief, can turn you inside out, young man."

"Could you please call me a cab?" Edward requested, pulling his eyes away from the floor as embarrassment flared through him.

Kenneth nodded, "of course," leaving Edward to gather himself. He stood slowly and moved over to the sink where he splashed his face with cool water and rinsed out his mouth before placing a chunk of the chocolate bar onto his tongue.

He ran his hand through his hair and fixed it, glanced at himself in the mirror and straightened his tie. _Abuse_ , he scoffed at the word that rang in his ears. What did the funeral director know? Nothing! He was no one's victim. So what if his childhood had been shoddy before the Cullens took him in, plenty of people had crappy upbringings. He was one of the lucky ones.

He was educated, wealthy, and he had parents that adored him. No one could hurt him. The past was just that, the past. There certainly wasn't any point to dwell on it.

He didn't recall the cab ride or leaving the funeral home as he made his way up to his father's hotel room, "Edward, are you all right?"

He shook his head, his innocent question raked across him like hot coals against nerves that already felt bloody and raw.

"Does Isabella know where you are?" Carlisle inquired as he shut the door.

Edward sat on the edge of his father's bed, "Yeah, they're all napping," he murmured distantly.

Carlisle nodded, Edward watched as he turned off the television and started the coffee pot, he turned back to his son, studying him before speaking, "and how are you?"

"Fine," Edward gritted out as he turned his gaze to the window and the city below.

His head snapped around as Carlisle snorted, he lifted a challenging eyebrow, "fine?" He paused, giving his child a disbelieving look, "you don't look..."

Edward cut him off, "I just need a minute," he requested, letting out a slow breath, and the anger that seemed to burn through him at his father's questions.

"No," Carlisle said, surprising him. "I'm not going to give you a moment to reassemble that thick armor you've built around yourself. We're going to talk," he said calmly, sitting in the computer chair across from him.

"I said I'm _fine_ ," but the last word came out heavy, filled with anger.

"You're obviously not," Carlisle stated, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "And, I'm your dad, I'm not going to let you push me away, you know this. So please, get whatever is eating at you out, scream, yell, toss a fit if you need to. I'd leave you be, but that's not why you came here."

Edward's shoulders hunched, "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered bitterly as he refused to look at him, causing him to miss his father's smirk.

"All right then," Carlisle agreed easily, making Edward look up in surprise, "I certainly can't make you."

Edward's eyebrow quirked upwards suspiciously, "Dad?"

Carlisle shrugged and sipped his coffee, looking over the rim at him, "you've had a panic attack recently, I'm not going to push, but I'm here."

He frowned at his father's words, a surge of frustration burst forth, "I'm not a fucking _victim_ ," the words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them or take them back.

"A victim?"

"Yes, I'm not some sad, pitiful abuse victim who's gonna crack," he spat out, moving to his feet, anger surging through him, "I'm not."

Carlisle nodded in agreement, "of course not. You're a survivor."

He stilled, his father's words reaching him, "you're a strong man, Edward, you've faced your demons and moved passed them. Yes, their back, but only temporarily; being here, dealing with all of this, of course, it came roaring back. None of this is your fault, Ed. None of it. You were the child."

The anger plummeted out of him as a strangled sob rose to his throat, his father squeezed his shoulder gently, "let it out, gently this time," he spoke softly.

His shoulders shook as he cried for the loss he felt, the memories this town evoked. The confusion that swirled inside of him. "But Ash…" he spoke as calmed.

"It's not your fault, Edward," Carlisle repeated, squeezing his shoulders once more, "you are not responsible for Elizabeth's actions, son." He released him, "better?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah," he admitted tiredly, he was calmer but exhausted.

"There now," he smiled a little as his father handed him a cool rag to wash his face with.

"Why didn't she ever contact me?" He asked, voicing the question that had plagued him most of his adolescent years. "If she loved me, why didn't she?" He mused, twisting the cool rag in his hands.

Carlisle shook his head, unsure, "maybe she thought she was doing the right thing, letting you live your life undisturbed without her chaos. Maybe she wanted too but didn't know how. We'll never know, Bud."

Edward chewed over his words thoughtfully, "yeah," he agreed with his logic.

"And I know you're hurting, maybe when you get home, you can call, Dr. Branson. Make a few appointments and work through this," Carlisle suggested.

"I don't know," Edward grunted, nose curling up at the thought. "I don't really want to talk about this, drag up those memories; most of it was so long ago. None of it really matters anymore, does it?"

Carlisle shook his head, "it does. Otherwise, it wouldn't hurt this badly. It'll be good for you. You don't need these stirred up emotions and memories poisoning you, you'll need a steady head to raise those adorable siblings of yours."

Edward sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, "fine," he agreed tiredly.

"Lay back, I'll go up and help Isabella with the kids. We'll manage until you wake. Rest, you'll feel like a new man," he instructed his voice firm and leaving Edward with little choice but to do as he said.

...

"Hey," Edward said quietly, stepping into the suite.

Bella grinned, looking up from the game she was playing with Asher on her tablet while feeding one of the twins, "we packed up most of the room for tomorrow, Ash was a big help."

"Great, thanks, Ash," he ruffled the young boy's hair as he grinned up at him proudly. He glanced over at his Dad who was feeding the other twin, and he gave him a nod in thanks.

He smiled softly as Mia rushed him, pink pacifier firmly in place. He scooped her up, "Hey, pretty girl."

She plucked at her dress and looked up at him expectantly, he chuckled, "that's a very cute dress," he complimented on demand.

"We have tizzas," she grinned at him from behind her pacifier as she pointed to the boxes on the table.

"Looks yummy," he agreed, placing her back on her feet as she wiggled to be put down.

Bella chuckled, as she read into his fake enthusiasm, she passed him Braxton, "don't worry, we ordered you a grilled, chicken caesar salad," she told him quietly, handing him a white Styrofoam container.

Edward grinned a little, "Thanks," he murmured, "you spoil me."

"Damn straight," she teased him. He enjoyed how her sweet brown eyes sparkled with warmth. He forced himself to turn away from her and move to the table. Nanny, she's your nanny, Edward. You're not falling into that terrible cliché either.

"So?" His father asked him. He didn't have to think about what he was asking, he knew.

"I spoke with Branson for thirty minutes, we're going to meet for lunch when I get back," he said, pulling his plastic fork from its wrapper.

"Good, I'm proud of you," Carlisle said, placing Holden into his bassinet.

As if sensing his discomfort, Bella spoke, looking up from her phone "have you guys seen Alice's new Facebook profile picture?"

"No," they spoke in unison.

"Oh," she said, giving them a sheepish smile, "never mind," she smirked to herself as both men dug into their pockets for their phones.

* * *

A big Thank you to **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing.

I hope everyone is doing great, enjoying their Summer. I am. Between the pool, the sunshine, pregnant naps and my children's never ending need to be fed make getting chapters out a bit slower.

This chapter was brought to you by Captain Underpants, two rainy days, sweet and sour snacks and my headphones. :P

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a **Review!**

Much Love, Hugs,

\- Emily


	9. Chapter 9

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Nine**

...

"Drive safe," Carlisle instructed, shutting the hood of the SUV after checking the Escalade's fluids, oil, coolant, brake fluid and windscreen wash levels.

Edward gave him an automatic nod of agreement, one he had perfected over years of following his father's guidance, "of course."

Carlisle gave him a look that said more than his mouth ever would need to.

Edward's lips quirked upwards. "I've got Bella and the kids to think about, Dad. I'll be safe." He promised, this time, his words bringing about more reassurance.

He didn't stiffen as Carlisle pulled him in for another quick hug, "I mean it. If you get tired, rest, overwhelmed ... rest. I'll handle the office until you're ready to come back."

"Thank you, and Dad," He paused, catching his eye, " I appreciate everything," Edward declared, pulling back, giving him a small, almost embarrassed grin. "I'll see you when we get home," he reassured, walking him over to the yellow cab.

"Love you, kid, be safe," Carlisle squeezed his shoulder.

"We will be," he chuckled, shutting the door. He waved as he watched him depart; he felt calmer, grounded as he turned and headed back to the SUV.

"Everyone ready?" He asked Bella, placing his bottle of water in the cup holder.

She grinned, her brown eyes seemed to shimmer with happiness, "pottied, changed, all buckled," she assured him, taking a sip of her vanilla latte.

"Alrighty then," he smirked at her, drawing out his words slowly as if he was Ace Ventura. She quirked an eyebrow, as she shot him an odd look. He snorted quietly to himself as he realized she didn't understand his impression.

He started the Escalade, "let's hit the road, who's ready?"

"Me," Asher called up to him.

He grinned as he cracked open his water and took a large gulp. He glanced over his shoulder to check on his sibling before putting the SUV in reserve and pulling out of the parking space.

In his rearview mirror, he watched as Ithaca, New York faded off into the distance. He gave the city one big mental middle fingers. A small piece of the heaviness that had been smothering him for days, lifted.

He observed Bella out of his peripheral vision for a second as she settled in as they rolled down the highway. She turned the radio on low, humming along as she pulled her e-reader out of her purse.

"Are we there yet?" Asher called from the backseat, breaking the quiet that had settled over the vehicle most of the morning.

Edward peeked a quick glance at Bella, his own lips curled upwards as she smirked at him, "No, sorry Bud, it's going to take us a few days to reach your new home."

He let out a loud huff, folding his arms over the buckles of his seatbelt, "I'm hungry," he announced grumpily.

"And sleepy," Bella murmured under her breath, so only Edward could hear her. He gave her a slight nod, but he kept his focus on the road.

"We'll stop for lunch soon, Kid. We just have to find a place." Edward explained, "look," he pointed out the window to the state sign, "we're in Pennsylvania now."

"Bleh ble-bleh!" Mia spoke around her sippy cup excitedly. "Bleh ble-bleh!"

Asher rolled his eyes, giving his baby sister a look of great annoyance as he muttered, "Yeah Mia, Dracula lives here in his hotel."

"Ash!" She demanded, "Bleh ble-bleh!"

He let out a long drawn out sigh, rolled his eyes once more, "Ash!" She pouted.

"Fine," he grumbled, then smiled a little bit and dropped his voice, obviously imitating something as he said dramatically, "I don't say, "Bleh ble-bleh!"

* * *

Edward's fingers tightened around the steering wheel as the twins screamed while he looked for a turn-off into Erie, Pennsylvania.

Bella shushed the twins as best she could, reaching over her seat and trying to give them back their pacifiers. They continued to shriek and fuss until Edward pulled into a Chick-Fil-A parking lot.

Bella shot Edward a surprised look, he shrugged and motioned to the building, "it has a play place." He lifted Braxton out of his seat and rubbed his back as Bella shook up their bottles. "Ash, help your sister out of her seat, mate, please."

"Ugh. I have to do everything," he groaned, but he moved over and unclasped his sister's buckles.

Bella handed Edward one of the bottles, before scooping up Holden and calming him, smiling a little as he happily latched onto his bottle.

"Bathroom breaks first," Bella announced, taking Mia's hand. She helped Mia into a stall, then changed Holden.

"But I want a pop." Asher protested, folding his arms over his chest.

"And I said no, would you like milk, chocolate milk or a juice box?" Edward repeated firmly.

Asher glared at him, scoffing his new sneaker against the floor, "root beer," he spat.

"Not a choice. Now decide, or I'll decide for you," Edward warned coolly, looking unfazed by his younger brother's attitude.

"No," he folded his arms, his face going an angry shade of red.

"Milk," Mia murmured with wide eyes, stepping closer to Bella.

"I need two kids, chicken nuggets meals, with fruit cups and milk, please," Edward ordered, glancing over at Bella who put in her order for a chicken sandwich with a water. He shot her a grateful smile.

"Once you cool off, Bud, you can go play," Edward murmured, helping Mia out of her shoes, once they were settled at their table.

* * *

"We're in Ohio," Edward announced softly, so as not to wake the twins and Mia who had dozed off shortly after they left the fast food restaurant.

Bella smiled, glancing up from her book, "the Buckeye State."

"I'm bored," Asher complained, followed by a yawn.

"Let's play, I spy," Bella suggested, "I spy something, purple."

"That car. This is easy," Asher grinned in triumph.

The game continued until Edward and Bella realized they were playing against each other as Asher snores had joined his siblings.

They made it past Cleveland with little trouble. The twins woke as Mia and Asher got into a heated argument over who owned the board book in Asher's hand.

"Enough, take turns," Bella turned in her seat, to look at them, "Asher give it to your sister. Go back to your coloring, please."

Long, multiple pitstops, for snacks, feeding, diapering, restroom breaks, many, many angry, bored outbursts between Mia and Asher later, Edward could feel his blood pressure rising as the dinner hour approached.

"Are we there yet?" Asher yelled over a shrieking Braxton, who Bella was managing to quiet as she blindly put his pacifier in his mouth.

"No," Edward said tightly.

"This sucks!" He snapped, kicking the back of Holden's seat.

Edward frowned deeply, his voice coming out deeper and harsher than he intended as he scolded the young boy in the back row, "Asher! Don't kick the seats."

Bella sighed as Holden woke with a jolt and let out a startled cry, "Edward, I swear if you don't stop in the next town, I'm going to scream myself," Bella hissed under her breath, for the first time looking as if she was about to have her own meltdown.

He nodded sharply, "find us a place," he agreed, taking another deep breath and counting, over and over again in his head.

She pulled out her phone and opened TripAdvisor, searching until she found a hotel. "Hampton Inn, there's one right off the interstate that has a suite with double beds and a pullout sofa."

"Book it," he rubbed the back of his neck, his temples throbbing as the twins fussed and Mia had a meltdown because Asher stuck his tongue out at her, hurting her feelings.

Bella wiped puffy faces and cleaned Mia and Asher up as Edward all but bolted into the hotel to check in. "Stay right here," she instructed, "whoever takes their hand off the car first losses," she explained the simple game, holding up a fruit snack in bribery.

"Game on," Asher accepted the challenge as Mia echoed his words, "Game on!"

Bella unbuckled the Braxton, lifting him out of his seat and cuddling him close, "I know, you need new pants," she soothed. "Give me just a few more moments, and we'll get you all sorted, yes we will," she cooed softly.

She followed Edward up to their room, as he pushed a cart full of their stuff. "What first?" He asked, unlocking the door.

"I get to pee first," Asher announced racing for the bathroom, Mia behind him, "no fairs!" She cried as he smirked at her and shut the door.

"Set up the bassinet," Bella suggested, rubbing Braxton's back as she carried him to one of the beds to change him.

"Asher come here," she requested, "hold Brax's bottle while I change Holden please."

"I do it," Mia offered.

"No, she said me," Asher cut her off, his chest puffing up proudly.

"Thank you, Ash. Mia, you can help me," she said, giving Asher a wink. She chuckled as he tried to wink back at her.

"What are we going to do for dinner?" Edward asked, dropping down on the bed next to Asher with a small grunt.

"I'll see what our pickup or delivery options are," Bella murmured, placing Holden on Edward's chest and heading for the bathroom with his tablet. When she emerged, she carried on with their conversation, "Panera Bread delivers to the hotel," she said.

"Sounds good," he agreed, she handed him back his iPad.

She helped Mia and Asher into their bathing suits and floaties after they settled on what to order. "Enjoy your swim," she smiled at Edward. "Dinner will be here in an hour, have fun."

"You think we have time?" He asked.

She nodded, "they'll be ready. They're tired, this will help them sleep. Go. I've got the twins," Edward glanced over at the sleeping twins then eyed her, wondering if she had gotten the better end of the deal.

She waved cheekily as she watched him depart before flopping back on the bed for a short nap until the soft knock on the door woke her. She tipped the delivery boy and placed the food on the small corner table.

Edward scooped up the Elsa bottle of shampoo, conditioner and body wash as he led Mia and Asher into the room and to the bathroom.

"Bella, pajamas, please," Edward called out a few minutes later.

She stepped into the bathroom and laughed, as Edward stepped out of the shower stall in his black swimming trunks. She forced herself to swallow as a light blush stained her cheeks as she glanced away from his six-pack.

He gave her a cocky smirk, and Bella rolled her eyes. She was well aware he knew how good looking he was. But her heart fluttered as he draped a towel over his shoulders and gently wrapped Mia in a fluffy towel before passing her over to Bella.

Bella peeled the wet, and now 'clean,' peach-smelling bathing suit from Mia and hung it up to dry before dressing her in her pj's and braiding her damp, long brown hair.

"C'mon pumpkin, dinner's ready," she carried her out to the small table where her peanut butter and jelly sandwich waited.

"This is going to be a long trip," Edward murmured quietly as he started turning down the lights around the room as all the children were tucked away in their beds.

"Mhm," Bella agreed, slipping on her jacket and shoes.

"Where are you going?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow.

She picked up the keys and gave him a look, "across the road to Target. Tomorrow, we're going to be more prepared. I'll be back."

He nodded, wrinkling his brow, unsure what she was up to.

She shot him a smile that went straight to his chest, "trust me."

"I do," he confessed as he handed her his debit card. "Whatever you think we need, get it."

She took the card and slipped it into her purse, "you'll be fine. Mia and Ash, they're out for the night. The twins just went down, they should be good for another hour or two. I won't be gone too long. Sleep, I'll be back."

She entered the twenty-four-hour store and bought herself a caramel macchiato in the in-store Starbucks before pushing the cart around the store, enjoying the quiet.

She wandered the baby department, purchasing another diaper bag, more bottles, water, a few more formula dispensers, and a couple more packages of pacifiers. How they had managed to lose three of them, already, she wasn't sure.

She put a small laundry basket in the cart and filled it with a couple toys, board books, and a few Crayola Color Wonder, coloring books.

She strolled the electronic department, eyeing the tablets but she had a feeling Edward would flip, so instead, she settled on two, portable DVD players and picked out a small variety of movies suitable for the ages of the children. A collection she knew would grow as they added more miles to the Escalade on their journey, west.

She lazily roamed the snack aisles, putting together an assortment of goodies. After she finished her drink, she made her way through checkout.

She installed the DVD players in the back row of the SUV, buckled the small laundry basket between Mia and Asher's car seats, placing the movies, toys, and coloring books in the basket where they could easily reach them before returning to the room.

She gently covered Edward, finding him fast asleep next to Asher. She moved to the bathroom to sanitize the new bottles and wash the dirty ones. She filled them with the water and placed them in the new diaper bag that she now dubbed the 'bottle' bag. She filled the dispensers with formula.

She fell asleep after the late night feeding of the twins.

Edward shook her awake at four-thirty in the morning, "get dressed," he whispered.

"What?" She groaned, blinking at him owlishly.

He grinned at her, "we're going to hit the road."

"The sun isn't even up," she complained as she sat up with a tired stretch.

"You can go back to sleep once we're on the road," he handed her a cup of coffee. She was surprised to find the twins fed, changed, and in their car seats sleeping peacefully.

"Holden woke me, by the time they started to drift off, I was wide awake." He shrugged, taking down the pack n' play and loading it onto the cart, along with their luggage after Bella pulled out some clothes for the day.

Bella hugged her pillow as they left Toledo, Ohio.

"Indiana," Edward announced to his sleeping passengers as the sun started to rise over the horizon.

"Where are we?" Bella asked as she woke a few hours later.

"Almost to Gary, Indiana," Edward said, "need to stop for gas, breakfast, stretch. Want to find us a truck stop?"

"There's a Love's, it has a Denny's," she said, entering the address into the GPS, then pulling the bottle bag from the back and preparing them.

After a long rest and breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and hot chocolate, they loaded up. Once the twins were back to sleep, Bella started a movie for Mia and Asher, handing them fresh sippy cups, filled with flavored water.

A stop for a late lunch, gas and to play was in order by the time they reached Iowa City, four hours later, they carried on into Des Moines, Iowa.

"It's only four, Edward?" Bella lifted an eyebrow as he pulled into a large hotel.

"I'm going to crash, you guys can relax, and then, tonight, after we have them ready for bed, we'll get back on the road." He explained, "we cover more ground when they're sleeping. This place has a pool and an indoor playground, they can run and swim, burn off a bunch of energy."

"Sounds like a plan," she agreed, knowing they were all growing restless.

Bella pushed the double stroller into the hotel, as Asher and Mia trailed after Edward. "Rest, I've got them," Bella nudged him towards their suite.

He smiled, "be good for Bella," he warned Asher and Mia. He watched them head for the indoor playground. He didn't move into their room until they disappeared around the corner.

* * *

Bella clicked the infant car seats into the Escalade, "just go to back to sleep Ash," she murmured, covering him with his Power Ranger blanket.

"Kay," he murmured, closing his eyes as Bella buckled him in, then Mia.

She managed to drift back off, sleeping until the twins needed a bottle and a change around four when they pulled over to refill the tank. She slept through Nebraska; Edward woke Bella as they entered Wyoming. "Next gas station, your turn to drive," he yawned.

"Sure," she agreed, with a yawn of her own followed by a shake of her head. She glanced back over her seat to check on the kids. Asher was chewing on a soft granola bar and drinking from his insulated cup as he watched _Hotel Transylvania_ , for the third time.

Edward grunted, "I hate to say it, but those DVD players, they're a godsend."

Bella laughed softly, reaching for her cold coffee.

"How'd you think of all that?" He asked, referring to the kid's basket of activities and movies.

She held up her tablet, "Pinterest." She grinned and rolled her eyes fondly as he muttered something about her internet addiction to himself. "Mia's still asleep?"

"She woke an hour after we stopped for gas the last time; she watched a few episodes while she chattered quietly with her doll, dozed back off as the sun came up."

She nodded, "and when did Asher wake up?"

"Asher's awake?" He glanced over his shoulder, "Oh, I had no idea," he chuckled tiredly.

He turned off the highway, pulling into a small cafe for breakfast. "Can I just say I am so over the cold," he groused, his feet crunching through the melting snow.

* * *

"Whoa, why are we stopping?" Edward asked, jerking awake as the car came to a complete stop, outside a hotel in Rock Springs, Wyoming.

Bella shot him a dirty look, waiting for him to pull off his headphones, "because Mia vomited ten miles back, Holden is about to go from fussing to full-blown meltdown, and it's snowing, Edward ... snowing."

"Fuucckk," he mumbled, finally noting the heavy flakes falling on the SUV.

"Mhm," she agreed, for once not even attempting to correct his swearing, "now go get us a room, please," she stressed out the word. Her eyes promised murder if he didn't fall in line and comply.

Bella was not entirely sure how they managed to finally get in the room as she washed Mia's hair, "I don't think we're going anywhere for a while," Edward murmured, leaning against the bathroom doorframe with Braxton in his arms.

"Oh?" She asked, glancing over at him.

"Snowing heavily out there and the wind has picked up," he explained, moving to sit on the toilet. "Maybe we should have flown."

She laughed softly, "you don't think?"

He shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin, "learning curve," he passed her a towel for Mia.

She lifted Mia out of the tub, drying and dressing the queasy girl. Mia raised her arms at Edward, who passed off Braxton to Bella and scooped up the little girl, cradling her close and pressing a kiss to her warm forehead.

He shot Bella a worried look, "it's not as high as she feels, she's probably car sick; we'll keep an eye on it." She murmured, putting the thermometer back in the little kit.

She followed them back to the bedroom, watching as he sprawled out on the king size bed with Mia across his chest. It didn't take Asher long to shuffle over and lounge next to them, "you should have seen it, Ward. She went all, like, like, Bell ... and then, blah.. everywhere. It was soo, so gross."

Edward chuckled, rubbing Mia's back gently. "Straight out of a horror flick," Bella agreed, "I'll go down to the laundry room and wash her car seat cover ... tonight."

* * *

"The roads will be clear and open later," Bella announced, coming back to their room with a basketful of clean clothes, Holden sleeping peacefully against her chest in a wrap.

They had spent three days cooped up in the small hotel. Three days of puzzles, coloring, movies and any activity Bella could think up to keep Asher and Mia from tearing down the walls.

"I'll pack up the car," Edward said, putting Asher back on his feet. "We'll leave after dinner," he ruffled Mia's curls on his way out with a suitcase.

"Eat guys, so we can go. You'll sleep in the car and sometime tomorrow we'll be home." She said, packing up the basket of toys and putting it by the door.

"Goodbye, Wyoming, Hello Utah," Edward announced with a grin.

"Only, eight hundred more miles to go," Bella laughed, "we're almost practically there." She muttered, feeling rather proud of herself as Edward snorted quietly in amusement. She adjusted her pillow, letting the quiet drift back over them.

"Milk, peanut butter crackers, and string cheese," Edward passed out the bedtime snacks while Bella was inside the gas station with the twins.

"Are we almost there, _now_?" Asher asked around a mouthful of cracker.

"Nearly," Edward lied. "Go to sleep, and when you wake up ... when the sun is up," he clarified, knowing Asher would probably wake in the middle of the night, when they stopped to gas up and feed the twins, "we'll stop for breakfast, drive just a bit more and then, hopefully, be there by lunchtime."

"Cool," Asher said, handing Edward his trash. Mia grinned around her sippy cup, her eyes already heavy.

"Night guys," he murmured, checking their buckles before climbing out to stretch.

The miles seemed to pass quickly as the car hummed down the highway, only the soft lyrics of the children's movie playing on a loop occasionally drifted to the front of the vehicle.

"The stars," Bella broke their silence, as they pulled over in the early morning hours about an hour from Reno Nevada to switch drivers and feed the twins on the side of the road. "They're beautiful out here."

Edward hummed quietly in agreement, rocking Holden as he hungrily ate.

"So, about Alice," she broached the subject he had been avoiding, since the start of their trip, west. He shrugged, "you're really not going to say anything?" She asked, giving him a long side glance.

Her words were met with a brooding silence.

"All right," she agreed, putting Braxton back in his seat. She stretched her arms over her head before she climbed into the driver seat.

Edward sank into the passenger seat, "I can't believe Alice married that ... that punk," he grunted, shaking his head with a deep frown, pulling his glare away from the window to look at Bella.

"I wouldn't exactly call a professional baseball player, a punk," Bella replied smoothly, reaching for her coffee. His green eyes caught hers for a second. She was fascinated with the emotions they displayed.

"She's a child. She's too young to be married," he stated firmly, "she's nine ... teen," he stressed out the word, "what the hell is she thinking?" He asked, agitated.

"I imagine she's in love," Bella murmured, keeping her eyes on the road.

He scoffed at the thought, "what does she know of, love? She's barely even lived."

"Edward," Bella said his name with a frown, making him pause, "there's nothing you can do but accept it and support it, even if you believe she's making the worst mistake of her life. It's her life. Like it or not, she's an adult."

He grunted once more, but a stiff nod followed as her words settled in his mind, "I just don't understand."

Bella rolled her eyes upwards, "then try talking to her."

He sighed, going quiet. It was clear his mind was whirling with unanswered questions and concerns. For a long minute, he didn't speak. "Do you think she's pregnant?"

"I have no idea, but I wouldn't recommend asking. Nor should you demand answers, or scold her." She paused, choosing her words carefully before continuing, "let your parents carry those worries. Just be her big brother. Don't drive a wedge between you that doesn't need to be there."

Edward smiled a little, "fine, but, that doesn't mean I have to _Like_ , that Facebook post," he stated stubbornly with a yawn.

Bella chuckled softly, rolling her eyes once more, "go to sleep, Edward." She turned the radio on low as he placed on his Bose headphones and adjusted the pillow, before laying his head back and closing his eyes.

She nudged him awake a few hours later, grinning as he tugged off his headphone and looked around a bit dazed.

"Welcome to San Francisco."

* * *

 ** _Author Note…_**

* * *

I pray everyone is doing well. School is back in full swing, but I swear they're never there, how is that even possible?! My pregnancy has entered the last trimester as I bounce back from a cold. 65'ish Days and yes I'm counting. This girl is killing my ribs.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a **Review!**

Hugs and Lots of Love

Emily

Oh. Also. A big Thank you to **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing. Please check out her Facebook group, Pay It Forward and the new blog they have put together. They will be featuring fics in four different categories on their new blog. Rookie Fic ... A new, first-time writer showcasing their first fic on PIF blog. Number two will be our Encore ... A new fic from a seasoned author giving us a sneak peek. Number three will be our Classix ... one from the vault, a time-tested oldie. And four is an Overlooked fic that needs some love. If you are a Rookie and need help, contact Fran on the PIF page. And if you have an Encore, contact her to get your new fic showcased. Also, anyone interested in writing a summary on one of their favs, please feel free to send it in for our Classix section.


	10. Chapter 10

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Ten**

* * *

Edward's mother, father, brother, and sister-in-law waited next to the steps of his new house, waving enthusiastically as Bella pulled into the driveway.

"Whoa ... it's blue!" Asher exclaimed, taking in the large Victorian home. "Is it an apartment?" He asked, nearly vibrating with excitement as Edward let him out of the Escalade.

"No, it's a house, all yours to live in," Bella explained with a smile, lifting Holden's car seat out as Mia tucked herself shyly into her leg as she noticed the group looking them over.

Asher's head darted, right and left, up and down, trying to take it all in, the large blue house, the trees, and the warmth of the air. He wandered to the edge of the driveway as Edward reached into the SUV to grab the diaper bag.

Asher peered down the road longingly, "there's a park, will we get to play there?" He turned back to look at them, hopefully.

"Yeah, bud. Probably not today but soon," Edward promised, steering him back up towards the house and away from the street.

"Edward," Asher pointed to the front door, his eyes wide with wonder, "the door is red!"

"That it is," he chuckled, noting the loving, warm look his mother traded with his father.

Esme squeezed her husband's hand as they watched Edward interact with the small boy, a child who instantly had her heart.

Edward ruffled Asher's untamable brown hair, "you remember my dad, Carlisle."

Asher nodded, his grip tightened on his older brother's hand as he gazed upon Carlisle and Esme, "yes, but he told us to call him Pops," he murmured.

"That I did my boy," Carlisle chuckled, stepping away from his wife to take the car seat from Bella.

Edward felt his shoulder loosen as his family opened their hearts to his young siblings. He smirked, as Mia tugged on Bella's shirt the second her arms were free. He shook his head, the little girl had Bella wrapped around her little finger, he thought as Bella scooped her up and rubbed her back reassuringly as Mia hid her face shyly.

"And this is my..." Edward visibly paused as he went to introduce Esme to his young siblings, "she's my mom, Esme." Asher nodded, and Edward continued, "This silly looking fellow, he's my big brother, Emmett and his saint of a wife, Rosalie." His green eyes brightened as Bella chuckled at his introduction.

Mia peeked a look at them from Bella's neck, he reached out and rubbed her back, "all right, let's get inside," he said, giving his mother a crooked grin as she held open the front door for everyone. He made sure his brother made it in before closing the door.

Asher trailed after Emmett and Rosalie to the living room, watching the couple with curiosity brewing in his young eyes, Emmett tossed him a large grin, egging him on as Rosalie squeezed his shoulders, "why are you in that chair?" Asher asked, the question tumbling out of his mouth and his eyes widened as he cast a fearful glance back at Edward, sending a sucker punch to his stomach.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and letting his emotions settle, pushing away the wave of memories his look had stirred.

Emmett laughed; he reached up and squeezed his wife's hand, "I was in an accident when I was younger, now my legs don't work."

"Oh," Asher nodded, his curiosity satisfied, "your wheelchair is really cool," he complimented, giving Emmett a grin once he realized he wasn't in trouble.

"Isn't it? Come check it out, kid, custom made, baby," Emmett beamed, motioning Asher forward, spinning his chair from side to side. He scooped up Asher once he was close enough and placed him on his lap, giving him a quick spin around the room, making the young boy laugh in delight.

Edward relaxed, leaning against the doorway, watching his family interact. It was easy to see that Emmett had quickly and easily, slipped into the role of the fun uncle.

Mia giggled, letting Rosalie lift her out of Bella's arms.

He glanced up as his father paced his hand on his shoulder, "the house is great," he murmured approvingly.

Carlisle nodded, giving him a proud grin, "your mother has worked hard, she's had a team of people in and out of here all week."

"I really appreciate it," he said, "honest; I don't know who I'd be without you guys." He gave an internal shudder at the thought, he probably would've followed Elizabeth's path.

He smiled as Carlisle chuckled, patting Holden's back as he snoozed against his chest, "c'mon, let your mother and I give you the tour."

"What about?" He glanced over at Mia and Asher a bit nervously.

"Let your brother and Rose watch them for a moment, they won't even notice your gone," his mother assured him, Braxton was lounging in her arms, his newborn blue eyes seemed to be soaking in everything around him.

He motioned Bella over, "she going to need the tour too, she's going to fill in as my nanny until the fall semester at Stanford starts," he explained to his parents.

He blinked as Bella leaned up and lowly hissed in his ears, "I'm not going to Stanford," his lips curled upwards.

"We'll discuss it later," he whispered back, missing the look his parents shared.

Esme cleared her throat, "as you can see, I left most of the rooms a bit bare, filling them only with the furniture I thought was necessary. That way you'll be able to add your own touches, artwork, and style to make this place feel like your own," he nodded, following her out of the living room that flowed into a formal dining room which opened up to a modern kitchen with a small, sunfilled breakfast nook.

"Nice," he complimented, grinning as he noted his teapot sat above the stove on a small shelf that displayed a wide range of his favorite teas. "Seriously, Mom. This is all way beyond." He praised, placing a small kiss to her cheek.

Esme smiled warmly, "your welcome, Darling." She turned to Bella, "now Isabella's rooms are downstairs," she stated as she opened the door to the basement, "you have your own private entrance, bedroom, and bath with a small sitting room that connects up to the kitchen." She explained the layout, turning on the light.

He watched as Bella nodded thoughtfully, turning to look at him. His breath caught as her warm brown eyes caught his, "I'll have to go in a few," his stomach tightened, as a frown stretched across his face. "I need to pack up some of my things," she explained, sensing his tension.

She continued a touch quieter as if speaking to herself, "and explain to my roommate, apologize for the bind I'm putting her in. Figure out how I'm going to pay her," she trailed off, blushing as she realized he was listening to her ramble. "Anyways..." she said slowly, "I figured, while your family is visiting would be best," she reasoned as they paused at the stairs to figured out the baby gate, before following his parents up to the second floor.

"The nursery," Esme stated happily, opening the first door they came to.

"Oh, whoa," Bella murmured, impressed. The room looked like it belongs in one of his mother's, home design magazines. Blues and greys with pops of color.

There were a few large boxes of diapers by the changing table. Many outfits filled the closet, toys set on shelves.

He gently nudged Bella's shoulder and whispered lowly so they weren't overheard, "my Mom somehow managed to fit an entire baby store into one bedroom."

He let out a deep satisfying breath as Bella hid a snicker, it marveled him how her laughter affected him.

"I wanted the children to come home to a room that is theirs," Esme explained, crossing the hall to the larger room filled with two twin beds, one pink, one blue. It was warm, welcoming in design.

"It's lovely," Bella approved, setting the new teddy bear back on Mia's new bed.

"Thank you, dear, and Edward we just had the movers move over your old bedroom furniture. Everything not used here is in storage."

"Great, thanks," he nodded, following them back downstairs.

"If you'll give Bella and me a moment," he said excusing them, stepping into his new office, closing the door once Bella followed him inside. "What's your roommate's name?" He asked pulling out his checkbook, finding his desk was organized exactly as he left it.

"Angela Weber **,"** she frowned, watching his hand as it scribbled across his checkbook. "Why?" She asked.

"For the trouble," he held out a check made to Angela for nine grand, her eyes widened. "The average rent around San Francisco is three thousand dollars, that'll cover your half of the rent for the next six month, giving her plenty of time to find another roommate."

"Edward," she gasped, "this is too much," she breathed startled by his generosity.

"No, what I'm asking of you is too much; this is the least I can do." He assured her. "You better go, take your time, pack, my parents will stick around until you return, I'm sure, if not, I think I can manage." His lips twitched upwards, his words teasing.

"I ... thank you, but we'll work something out later, I'll pay you back," she said stubbornly, accepting the check begrudgingly.

He rolled his eyes in mild annoyance. "Take the Escalade," he ordered.

She rolled her eyes in return, "I was going to," she assured him with a sassy smirk. "You've spoiled me."

He grunted, watching her leave.

Bella entered her tiny, two-bedroom apartment she shared with Angela. She hung her set of house keys up on the hook with a little sigh.

"You're back," her roommate and longtime best friend beamed, jumping off the sofa and hugging her. "I missed you."

"Be honest, you barely noticed I wasn't around." She laughed; lifting Ben's coffee mug off the breakfast counter and giving it a little shake before placing it in the sink.

"That's not true," Angela giggled, "well, maybe a little, Ben asked me to marry him." She squealed, showing Bella her tiny diamond ring.

"It's gorgeous, when?" Bella complimented, laughing as Angela shrugged cluelessly.

"We don't know, we're still working out the details. Our families want a huge wedding but ... I dunno, so not my style." She groaned.

"Elope," Bella suggested with a mischievous smirk.

"My mother would murder me, like, truly murder me dead, but a big wedding will cost a fortune." She sighed, pouring them both a glass of wine. Bella nodded synthetically. "Soo... anyways, B. How was the trip with Mr. Sexy Boss?"

She sank down on the sofa, taking a sip of the wine, "long, my heart completely broke for him, A. And when it put itself back together, it gave itself to him without my permission I might add." She groaned, "don't say anything, I'm a fool, I know."

"So, you didn't break any office rules?" Angela wiggled her eyebrow suggestively.

Bella snorted, "goodness no, I don't think Edward has ever broken a rule in his entire adult life."

"Oh," Bella giggled at her disappointment, "so, he's Edward now, huh?"

She nodded, going to the spare closet and pulling out the spare boxes they kept tucked away. "He asked me to be his nanny."

"Kinky," Angela laughed, ducking the flowery throw pillow Bella tossed at her head.

"I'm serious, A." She said, packing away her knickknacks that set on top of her dresser. "The pay is outrageous and comes with a bunch of benefits. He insists on paying for my college so long as I keep working for him."

"So what's the catch?" Angela asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I have to move in with him. It'll be a full-time gig, at least for six months until he can find someone else to cover the day shift. I'll take over in the evening," She explained, turning to look at her.

"Sounds crazy."

"It is," she agreed. "And here," she handed her the check," it's my portion of the rent for the next six month, until you and Ben can find another roommate." She smiled apologetically.

Angela's eyes widened as she took in the amount. Bella shrugged, "he didn't ask me how much my portion of the rent was, he assumed, insisted since he put you in this position. He doesn't know we split the rent three ways."

She nodded, "So... a nanny, huh?"

Bella took another sip before putting the glass on her windowsill. "Yeah."

"How's that going?"

"I have no idea what I'm doing," she admitted weakly, putting her clothes into a couple trash bags. "And you know when I don't know what I'm doing, I just fake it until I make it."

"That is classic Bella," Angela grinned, motioning for her to continue, "but when he asked, I couldn't say no, okay. I know, I'm creating a disaster of my own making."

"Mhmm," she agreed, taking a long drink and stroking Lucy.

"But I can't walk away; I'll figure it out as I go. I've been winging this adulting thing for a while now." She murmured, putting the picture of her parents in a box.

"You'll be fine; you're just nervous B. You have all the skills one needs to be a kick-ass child-carer," Angela assured her, helping her carry her first load of boxes down to the SUV.

Once her room was cleared of all her things with only the bed, dresser and desk left they flopped down onto the bare mattress.

"How are we going to move this stuff?" Angela groaned.

Bella grinned at her, "keep it, it'll make renting out the room easier, my new room is fully furnished, and when I move out, I'll be able to afford a better set. Now about this wedding..."

"You'll be my maid of honor, of course," Angela started; Bella nodded and listened as she devoured two slices of pizzas as the sun started to set. "Don't be a stranger, B. I mean it, don't run yourself into the ground, working too hard. Sunday brunch, be here."

"I'll pencil it in," she winked, blowing her a kiss before driving away.

* * *

 **Author Note …**

* * *

As always a big thank you to my wonderful Beta, **Sunflower** **Fran**.

Sorry for the delay, when I hit the last few weeks of my pregnancy I couldn't stand or sit without lots of pain, so I avoided my computer desk and slept a lot. My sweet baby entered the world the first weekend of December, instead of being the sweet girl we were anticipating, Oliver gave us quite the shock. We had a Boy! The holidays, a Birthday and the flu took us by storm. I think things are finally settling.

I hope everyone is well, thank you for reading and please **Review**!

Extra Hugs for the new year and those infected with the horrible yucky flu,

\- Emily


	11. Chapter 11

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Eleven**

* * *

"Bella!" Edward's voice carried through the air, pierced with just enough panic to cause Bella to drop her phone onto the sofa. She took the stairs two at a time, the soft patter she heard behind her let her know that Asher had stopped watching his morning cartoons to follow her.

She let out a low chuckle as Edward turned towards her as she stepped into the twin's nursery. He held Braxton out, away from his tidy, fresh from the cleaners, Armani dress shirt. His expression was mixed with disgust and panic, "Bella, please," his voice tight with a hint of queasiness. She bit her lip and reached for the plump baby who had nearly doubled his weight in the past nine weeks.

"I've got this. Can you handle running his bedsheets down to the washer without making the situation worse?" she carefully took the grinning boy, carrying him to the large sink in the bathroom across the hall.

Edward took in a few breaths, settling his stomach and awful gag reflex. He watched her walk away in her tight yoga pants that clung to every curve. Pants he had a great love-hate relationship with. He shook his head and called after her, "thanks, Bee."

"That was so gross," Asher commented with a smirk, rolling his toy car across the dresser as Edward stripped the crib of the soiled bedding.

Edward lips quirked, "agreed." He carried them down the hall to the laundry room. The baskets were overflowing with dirty clothes, two clean baskets set on top of the washer and dryer ready to be folded, another waited in the dryer to be put in another basket.

He pre-treated the sheets before tossing them into the wash, then threw in the rest of the twins' dirty clothes, dropped in the infant detergent and started the machine. He took a minute to quickly fold a few items from the overflowing baskets of clean clothes.

They had found a nice rhythm of housework and childcare before he had returned to work. But in the two weeks, since he had returned to the office, the house was starting to slip as Bella did her best to juggle everything.

He could see how hard she was trying; it could be seen in the bags under her eyes and the new stains on her shirts. He stepped back into the nursery, put away the clothes and lifted Holden from his crib. He changed his diapers and clothes before settling into the rocker with his morning bottle. "Why so serious all the time?" He cooed at the frowning boy. He chuckled, kissing the crown of his head when he received a grunt in response.

"On your way home tonight, pick up more diapers, please," Bella asked as she placed Braxton on the changing pad, drying him with a Mickey Mouse towel.

Edward frowned a little, his eyebrows lifted in curiosity, "why?" He asked, "I just picked up that giant box Monday."

"Well, this isn't the first or even fifth diaper leak in the past few days. I read online that if they start to become frequent, which they are, then you should move up a size." Bella explained, her eyes finding his as she fed Braxton.

"Gotcha," he nodded, "I'll go to the store this evening, text me if we need anything else." He moved Holden up to his shoulder, patting his back, "What's today looking like for you guys?"

"Asher's tutor will be here from nine until eleven, then we'll have lunch."

"I thought we agreed the instructor would come for four hours?" Edward interrupted, pausing his game of peek-a-boo with Holden to look at her.

Bella rolled her eyes and sighed before explaining calmly, "he does, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but on Tuesday and Thursday, it's two hours in the morning because of counseling and playgroups in the afternoon."

"Right," he blew out a breath, reaching for his coffee after placing Holden on his playmat, "forgot it was Thursday, so that means today you're taking Mia and Asher to the optometrists."

She nodded trying to burp Braxton, who was more interested in pushing away from her shoulder, "at two. I'll text you with the results. Rosalie's going to watch the twins while we're out."

"I'd try to get off, but I can't miss my meeting this afternoon. I was hoping to have all this sorted before returning," he raked his fingers through his hair as guilt flashed through his eyes, making them a shade darker.

Bella pulled her eyes away from him as she placed Braxton down by his brother on the colorful mat, "both Branson and Dr. Seth agreed that it was best to settle into what will be the children's truest schedule as quickly as possible." She scrolled through her phone, "in two months, I've got the kids into my old dentist, you've found a pediatrician you trust, she led you to Seth, who's an excellent child therapist. He helped you find a tutor Asher actually listens to."

"We have been busy," he chuckled tiredly, taking a bite out of his blueberry scone.

Bella took a sip of her sweet coffee and stretched her legs out as she sat on the floor. "Not counting counseling, we only have three doctor appointments scheduled this month, the eye doctor today, and," her eyes darted over to Asher who was rolling a car around the floor, "next Thursday Ash gets to go to sleep and wake up with all his teeth fixed." She ruffled Asher's hair as he crawled past them, still dressed in his pajamas.

Asher turned his head and smiled at them. "Yes! I'll get my cracked tooth fixed, finally," Bella did her best not to cringe outwardly as she thought of his poor teeth, especially his back molars and the pain they caused him if he ate something too hard, crunchy or sweet and chewy. She didn't miss the pain in Edward's eyes or the way his jaw clenched in anger.

"Yep," Bella nodded, turning her conversation back to Edward who was finishing his breakfast, "and on the fifth of next month, the twins go to the doctor for their vaccinations."

"We still need to pick a school," Edward grumbled, looping his tie around his neck as he looked in the mirror to finish getting ready.

Bella snorted as she stood up and stretched, "We?"

He pulled out his phone and forwarded her an email, "I trust your judgment. You know Ash and Mia and can help find a good fit. My dad sent me a list of the top five private schools in the city. He's spoken with the head of the schools and their admission teams. I've received personal emails from each of them, but I just need to arrange tours and decide which school we'd like to schedule an evaluation with."

Bella wrinkled her nose, pulling her hair up into a funky bun. She opened her email and clicked on one of the school's websites, "French American International School, wow, that sounds intense."

"I'm sure it is but they're all excellent choices," Edward shrugged, "a bilingual education is a gift. It gives them an advantage in life."

She snorted and turned her phone around, showing him her screen, "it literally says that right here," she tapped the school's website. "Most of these schools have a waiting list, aren't they hard to get into?"

"Most do, yeah," he shrugged, "but money buys privileges. It's an ugly fact. So in between my meetings today I'll go over both of our schedules and pencil in the school tours. I'll send you a message."

"Sounds fine," she agreed with a wave of her hand. He gathered up their coffee cups to carry down to the kitchen. "Asher, go get dressed. It's time to start our day," she instructed, wrapping the twins up in a carrier and heading across the hall to wake Mia. Once the older two were dressed, she led them downstairs and shut the baby gate after them.

Mia followed Edward around as he finished gathering his things, a pacifier clamped between her teeth. "I thought we got rid of them all," he pointed a thumb over his shoulder at his little shadow, his question directed towards Bella as she scrambled eggs and plucked toast from the toaster.

"We must have missed one," she shrugged, "it'll disappear," she promised as Edward filled his coffee mug. She smirked as she caught him sneaking a dried fruit pack into his pocket.

He ran a loving hand over Asher's wild hair, "be good for Bella, Bud. Work hard for Jacob." He scooped up Mia and cuddled her before dropping her into her booster seat at the table and buckling her in, "and you, princess, have fun, I'll see you guys at dinner."

"Bye, bye," Mia waved after him, Asher gave him a simple, "later alligator."

"After while crocodiles," he agreed, "text me if you need anything." He paused in the doorway to watch Bella dish out eggs and toast before leaving. He needed to do something nice for her soon.

"Don'ts touch me," Mia grumped at Asher, giving her older brother some serious side-eye and Bella's eyes rolled upwards in a silent prayer.

Asher smirked, his lips curling up, "I'm not, whiny."

"Wells, stop looking at me," she folded her arms, "Bella, he's 'othering me. He really, really is."

Bella rubbed her face, "guys, it's too early for this today. Ash, put your plate in the sink and go brush your teeth, Jake will be here in a minute."

"Ugh!" Asher stomped across the room, dropping his plate into the sink with a clink.

"Thank you," she called sweetly after his retreating form. She helped Mia wipe her face and hands, "now, why don't you play with your little kitchen," she steered her towards the playroom, "Brax, Hold, and I, we'll come play once I get this kitchen clean."

"I's make you a cake," Mia agreed rushing off to play.

Bella placed Holden in a swing and wore Brax in a carrier as she picked up the kitchen, and threw dinner in the crock-pot. She then slipped Mia's pacifier into her pocket. The loud knock at the front door startled Holden awake, and he let out a fussy cry. It was as if that single cry triggered a train reaction amongst the children as Braxton let loose and began screaming. She lifted Holden from his bouncer and started for the door.

She patted the twin backs trying to calm them and took a step back as Mia sprinted passed her shrieking at the top of her lungs. "Give it back, Mia!" Asher yelled red-faced, chasing after his little sister.

"Both of you stop, pause, hold on," she called after them as she pulled open the front door, trying to shush both Braxton and Holden. "Hey Jake come in, things went nuclear," she joked with the large tattooed surfer. He was handsome, with a carefree grin, his long hair tied up in a messy bun. He smelled like the ocean.

"Sounds like it," he flashed her his white teeth, reaching for Braxton. "Hey big boy," he grinned at the baby, bouncing him gently as he followed Bella into the living room.

Mia rushed her, hiding behind her legs. Asher snarled, Bella caught him by the shoulder gently, "deep breaths, Bud."

"She took my snack," He folded his arms angrily, tears glittering in his eyes. "I hate her!"

Mia gasped, dropping the bag of animal crackers on the floor as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Whoa, little dude, not cool, she loves you," Jacob stepped in, his smile flattening as Bella put a calmer Holden into a swing.

Asher ducked his head; he squeezed the palms of his hands to his eyes to keep himself from crying as Bella comforted Mia and sent her to the sofa to start a show. She knelt in front of Asher, tipped his chin and uncovered his eyes, so he was looking at her. "Help me understand Ash, what made you so upset?"

He shrugged, picking at the hem of his T-shirt, "she took my snack," he muttered out slowly, reluctantly. Bitterness ate at his words.

"And why did that bother you so much?" she brushed the hair out of his eyes, her voice gentle and curious.

He wiggled his left foot back and forth, watching it, "because," he spat out without anger but full of frustration and pain, "because, it did. I don't like anyone taking my snacks," he explained the best he could after some thought.

Bella nodded, scooping up the ziplock baggie of crackers and handing it to him, "can you tell me why you like to keep those crackers near you all the time?" She asked gently, her heart twisting. She knew the answer, but she wanted to know if he understood it himself, so she pushed a little more.

He sniffed, clutching the bag and wiping his nose with the back of his hand, his words came out quiet, "I don't ever want to be hungry again, I don't, Bella, I don't."

Bella pulled him into her arms, hugging him close as if it would somehow heal them both, "you won't be, ever again," she promised, "and I'll talk to Mia about not touching your stuff. Let's go wash your face and get you ready for your lessons with Jake. He has lots of fun games he wants to play with you today." She glanced up at Jake, who looked as if Asher soft words had colored his sunny world a few shades darker.

"Yeah, right," Jacob gave her a nod, putting on a smile, "lots of fun things today," he agreed. "We've got an art project to start and a math game to play."

Bella gave him a grateful grin and lifted Asher into her arms, "we'll be right back."

When they returned, Jacob had put Braxton into his swing. "C'mon kid, we're going to do math with M&M's today," he spoke to Asher holding up the bag of candy. Asher's eyes widened with excitement.

Bella groaned and shook her head, "Jake, you know how Mr. Cullen feels about junk food."

He shrugged and wiggled his fingers towards Asher with a wink, "I think he'll understand today."

She nodded, giving in reluctantly as Asher's hand clasped Jake's. She watched as they headed to the back office that had been converted into a personal classroom. She cleaned up the living room and fed the twins, changed them and put them down for their morning naps.

She turned the television off and settled Mia at the kitchen table, together they sang the alphabet and worked on shapes and color recognition before Bella chose a simple worksheet for her to color as she prepared lunch.

"Great work today kid," Jake said letting Asher out of the classroom, "go get washed up, I'm sure Bella has your lunch almost ready." He instructed as he led him back to the kitchen. He handed Bella a few colorful pages filled with clumsy, messy writing.

Bella smiled, looking it over, "Good job, Ash," she called after him as he rushed up the stairs after Mia.

"Thanks," he called over his shoulder.

Jacob smiled at Bella, tilting his head curiously, "do you work Saturday?"

"Saturday?" She murmured surprised, "typically, every other one."

"Don't you miss it?" He asked, pulling a Gatorade from his backpack and taking a long drink, his gaze settled on her.

She gave him a funny look, "miss, what?"

"The ocean," he smirked, his brown eyes warm and inviting, "listen if you want, text me Saturday and we'll hit the beach."

"I'll," before she could finish her sentence, Edward cut in, stepping into the room from the hallway, putting his briefcase on the kitchen counter. "She's busy this weekend." His words fell out of his mouth, full of possessiveness and claim, and it was something they all noticed.

"Mr. Cullen," Jacob said, he stood up straighter, his carefree attitude washing away. "Asher's doing well, he's struggling to learn his alphabet and their sounds, but he excels at counting, numbers. He's mastered tying his shoes, zipping up his own jacket." He reported, sounding more professional than Bella had ever heard him, "tomorrow, we're going to the library to attend storytime, and next Friday I'd like to take him to the Zoo."

Edward nodded looking over Asher's schoolwork, "thank you, Mr. Black. Asher has made great strides with you."

"He's come a long way in a short time," Jacob agreed. They all thought back to when they had discovered Asher was unaware of how to even hold a pencil or crayon. "Now that he can write and his coloring skills are improving, I was interested in seeing what you thought of supplying him with a tablet to expand on how we do coursework."

Edward frowned thoughtfully, he cast a glance at Bella who shrugged, "I'm unsure, I, we try to keep them electronically free as possible outside of a few cartoons."

"I understand that. I even respect it, Sir." Jake rubbed the back of his neck and shot Bella a look at which she simply shrugged and turned away from their conversation. "It's just, nowadays, schools are going more and more paperless, he'll be working on tablets and laptops from the second he passes through his school doors. While I'll keep working him the way I have been, I was thinking of some of the really neat learning apps I use with some of my other kids that he could work on in the evenings and weekends when I'm not around. The cool part is, he will just think he's getting to play."

Edward rubbed his jaw as Bella wiped down a counter and added, "It could work. It's not like we're going to let him have it whenever he wants. Jacob's right, the internet will be a good part of his education. It was with mine."

"Right," He agreed, reluctantly on board but swayed by their argument, "I'll have one here by Monday. I assume you'll construct some sort of syllabus for its use." He leveled his gaze on the young surfer.

Jacob nodded, "yes, I'll write what I'd like him to accomplish on the whiteboard in the classroom. If you don't mind me saying so, Bella could use some of these apps to work with Mia." His phone dinged, and he glanced at the time, "I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, but I really must be going, can't be late for my next kid. Bye guys," he waved at Asher and Mia and headed for the door.

"Bye Jakey," Mia grinned, waving at him from where she was hugging Edward's leg. Her big brother didn't miss the small crush she carried for the surfer.

"Laters Miss Mia," he winked as he slung his bag over his shoulder and exited the house.

Edward placed Mia at the table, "is he really the best guy we could come up with?" He asked Bella playfully, his tone light and teasing.

She rolled her eyes, "Asher adores him, and Jake keeps him engaged and progressing. I really don't think we'd find anyone better."

He grunted, not liking how she called him Jake, "he's young."

"You think everyone's young." Bella quipped handing him a plate.

She dished out the grilled fish, rice, and vegetables, placing a Pediasure shake in front of both Mia and Asher, to help them both gain weight, "I thought you had an important meeting this afternoon," she inquired towards Edward, while sipping her coconut water.

"Moved it to this morning, pushed this morning stuff to this evening, simple things I can do on my laptop after the kids are in bed tonight." He explained, "I texted, said I was headed home early."

She frowned a little and patted down her pockets, "Oh."

Edward snickered, "well, well, well, this must be a first," he teased at the sight of her without her phone nearby.

"Laugh it up," she muttered, shaking her head, "I've been busy." She looked around the messy kitchen guiltily. It certainly didn't appear that she had done anything.

Edward cut up Mia's fish. "I'll take over from here, go get cleaned up, unless you plan to wear the yoga pants to the eye doctor," he shrugged watching her toss the dish rag into the sink and hurry down to her room.

* * *

He settled Holden into Emmett's arms and Braxton into Rosalie's, "you sure you two got this?" He asked them, having already explained where they could find everything downstairs.

"We'll be fine, Ed, it's only for a few hours," Emmett grinned, stroking the baby's cheek. "Damn these are some cute babies," he chuckled when Rose swatted his arm and chastised him for his language. Emmett fist bumped Asher with a wink, "good luck at the doc, small fry."

The door to the kitchen opened, and Edward turned his head and smiled at her. She had changed into a simple sundress with Converse sneakers on her feet. He frowned a little. What the hell was he going to do come summer when she was all short shorts and flowery tank tops, dressed unapologetically young, and sinfully delicious to look at.

Asher's giggle pulled him from of his dangerous thoughts. "See you later, Big Mac," Asher told Emmett as he followed Mia and Bella out to the SUV.

Emmett gave him a knowing smirk, which he ignored, "take care," he said shutting the door. "Call if you need anything."

* * *

The family vision center was bright and colorful, the receptionist was cheerful, and greeting both Mia and Asher warmly, motioning them towards the children waiting room filled with toys and activities to keep them occupied during their wait, while both Edward and Bella filled out forms.

"Asher, come back with me, bring your dad, I'm Adam," the optometrist assistant introduced himself. "Your mom and sister will wait here until Minnie is ready for them," Adam explained as he led them back to a room. Asher squeezed Edward's hand hard, stopping Edward from correcting him.

"Now bud, I'm going to run a few fun tests, and then the doctor will come in and look them over," Adam explained, directing him through the test with an ease that marveled Edward. Asher laughed and giggled his way through the exam.

"Relax, Dad, from what I can see, this little man has excellent vision," Adam said, "Dr. Dora will be in with you shortly."

Edward nodded as Asher climbed up on his lap, "I did good?" He asked, seeking Edward's approval.

"Very well," Edward praised ruffling his wild hair, "I'm impressed." A few minutes passed as Edward listened to Asher talk about the art project he was making with his tutor, "and when we're done, I get to enter it into the contest at the library."

"Exciting," he smiled, as the door opened and Bella, Mia, and the optometrist joined them. "I thought I'd make this easy and go over both of them with the both of you." She said looking up from her tablet where she was reviewing their results. "Let's get right to it, then," she said after they were all situated. "Asher's eyes are normal, I don't see any issues we need to discuss or watch. Mia's eyes, however, have a bit of anisometropia going on. That means that her two eyes have a different refractive power, so there is unequal focus between the two. Her dominant eye is doing all the work. We're going to correct that by prescribing her glasses. It's important that she wear them the majority of the time. If she does, her eyes will strengthen, and she may grow out of needing them in a few years."

Edward nodded, "thank you," he said accepting the prescription card. "How bad is her sight?"

"She can see well enough, but the world is probably a little blurry with the small details. Like she can see that door, but the words on the poster are fuzzy." She explained. "Now we don't offer glasses here, but we're partnered with the shop next door, so you'll get a nice discount and same day lenses." She passed them another card. "And Mia, I'll see you again in six months."

Mia waved shyly from Bella's arms.

"Please see Minnie on your way out, and she'll schedule your next appointment."

Edward slipped the discount coupon, prescription card, and appointment reminder in his wallet as they walked next door to the eyeglass store. Bella helped Mia try on multiple pairs of glasses; pink ones, circular ones, square-shaped, blue, yellow, heart-shaped.

"I think these will last, the Miraflex brand." Bella handed Edward a plum pair of rectangular glasses. "They're soft, have no metal, so no screws or pads, nearly unbreakable. The elastic strap will help them stay on." She read over the pamphlet and the warranty they were given.

He tested them in his hands and gave her a nod of approval. "Pick from these, Mia." He instructed, pulling down all the pairs in that brand for her to choose from.

"Looking cute, Bug," he lifted Mia up as she tried on a pair of soft pink oval glasses, so they could look together in the taller mirror, "do you like these?" He inquired.

"I dos, princess," she grinned around her thumb as they looked in the mirror at her reflection, "and I like the green ones, purple, and that pretty blue," she pointed out the colors she liked.

"All right," he scooped up the pairs she picked and handed them over to the salesperson along with the coupon, lens prescription, and his credit card. "And on the teal pair, add the light adaptive option too."

Bella smiled after he swiped his card, "they'll be ready in two hours. The teal pair will be ready tomorrow afternoon."

"That's fine," Edward agreed, "let's go get frozen yogurt, I saw a place down the street, and we can play at the park while we wait." He spoke to the kids giving them a grin as he led them out of the store.

Bella tossed their melted mess in the trash can as Mia and Asher bolted towards the playground. She settled their shopping bags on the bench next to Edward as she sipped on her daily, afternoon dose of sanity and caffeine. "She didn't need four pairs of glasses," Bella chuckled.

"She didn't, but she's a little lady and women love their accessories." He remarked. "Don't give me that snort, Bee, that's exactly what you said when you talked me into buying her more shoes to match all those cute outfits. She's little, we're going to misplace pairs, and even though they seem unbreakable, they're going to break or get scratched, having backups is important."

"True," she agreed, she fiddled with her straw before glancing over at him. "You said I was busy this weekend..." she trailed off quietly.

Edward shifted uncomfortably and sighed, "You're not, I … changed my plans. So, if you want, you're more than free to spend your weekend any way you choose to spend it." He said evenly, forcing himself to look away from her and to keep his voice unattached.

"Oh," she said sucking in a breath and letting it out slowly in disappointment. "Okay. Cool."

They sat in silence for a long moment before he stood, "I'll be back in a few minutes," Edward said after glancing at his watch. "Tonight, order whatever you guys want for dinner," he said by way of an apology.

She smirked, "pizza it is," she told him as he walked away.

He returned a few minutes later with a bag and pulled out the case with the pink oval glasses, "Mia over here, bug." He called her over and slipped the glasses onto her little face. "Adorable," Bella praised, chuckling as Mia's eyes widened as she took in the world in full detail for the first time.

Her head was tilted back as she looked at the tree above them, "whoa," she whispered.

"Pretty awesome, huh?" Bella smiled, watching Mia face as she took everything in, but her eyes kept going back to the tree and sky above her.

"So's many, pretty," she breathed in wonder.

Edward lifted an eyebrow and glanced up, trying to see what Mia did, "So many what?"

"Those," she pointed to the tree and the thick green leaves, swaying in the breeze.

He shot a puzzled look at Bella who shrugged but looked up with Mia before it dawned on her, "oh ... she can see all the leaves on the tree."

* * *

 **Author** **Note**...

* * *

Thank you **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing.

I pray everyone is doing great and enjoying the warmer weather.

This chapter was brought to you by Southern Pecan Coffee, my baby's Jumperoo and occasionally hiding from my children and husband in the laundry room/office.

Thank you for reading and please leave a **Review**!

Extra hugs and love,

\- Emily


	12. Chapter 12

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Twelve**

…

He dropped his briefcase on the kitchen counter and took in the pile of dishes in the sink. He rubbed a tired hand over his face as he took in the general disarray of the house. Toys, clothes, shoes, sippy cups scattered everywhere seemed to be their new artistic style.

He made himself a chicken sandwich, watched as the Keurig brewed a cup of coffee. His eyes skimmed over Asher and Mia's schoolwork. The pictures they had drawn, notes from their therapist and a request to take them to the aquarium from Jacob. Between bites of his sandwich, he added the reminder to his schedule tomorrow to call their therapist, signed off on Jacob's request, and put the required funds in the envelope.

He knew the laundry upstairs was overflowing; the fridge and pantry needed restocking. He put a pod in the dishwasher and started it.

What the fuck was he doing? Five months ago, he had been free to do whatever the fuck he wanted, whenever he wanted. Now, now, it was all about the kitchen calendar, smiley face stickers and text messages about diaper rash ointment, fevers, and have you seen Mia's purple glasses?

He grimaced at his bitter thoughts and shook his head, moving to the living room with his coffee. He stopped in the doorway; Bella, Mia, and Asher were asleep on a pile of blankets in the middle of the floor as the television played quietly in front of them. His phone chimed in his pocket, and he pulled it out and checked his notifications. A new email. Three missed text messages caught his attention,

" _Will you be able to make it home for dinner?_ "

" _There's chicken salad or pork chops in the fridge."_

" _It's Friday. I'm going to let the kids try and stay up to see you. They miss you."_

"Fuck," he groaned, rubbing a hand over his face once more. He was an asshole.

He scooped up Mia, who peeled her eyes open. "Edward, your home," she grinned sleepily as he carried her up the stairs.

"Yeah, tomorrow I'll be home all day," he promised, tucking her into bed.

She cuddled around her stuffed bear, "you work at home 'morrow?"

He sighed, feeling like an even bigger ass, "no work tomorrow, I promise. Now go to sleep princess," he kissed her forehead, turning on her night light before heading down to carry Asher up to his bed. He smiled a little as Asher grunted and turned over onto his stomach not waking as Edward put him down and covered him.

He checked on the twins as he moved down the hall to his room to change. He pulled on his dark gray pajama bottoms and a plain black tee before going down to wake Bella.

He nudged her foot gently with his. His heart stirred as she stretched and blinked up at him with tired eyes, "hey," she murmured, as she moved to her feet, "the kids?" she asked, picking up a few toys and dumping them into a toy bin.

"Tucked into bed," he explained, picking back up his coffee and taking a sip. "You're off until Monday evening," he told her quietly. "I finished that deal I've been wrapped up in the past few weeks. Anyway, I added a little something to your paycheck for all your extra work lately."

She nodded as she stretched, "I only have a few plans this weekend, but I'll try and stay out from underfoot."

"You won't be," he reassured her. He rubbed the back of his neck for a second and then quietly offered, "You're welcome to join us at the aquarium Sunday. Off-duty of course," he gave her a faint smile. He knew he was selfish for wanting to spend time with her.

She returned his small grin with one of her own, "I'd like that." She said as she followed him into the kitchen.

He nodded to her, opening his laptop as he settled at the kitchen table with his coffee. He forced his eyes to stay on the screen and not her tight, yoga-clad backside.

She rolled her eyes before he could stop her, as she dumped his coffee down the drain. "Hey!" He grunted at her. She ignored his protest as she walked over to the stove and started the kettle, a few minutes later she sat across from with him two cups of Sleepytime tea.

"Thanks," he murmured appreciatively after a sip.

Her lips quirked, "Welcome, rest well vampire."

"Vampire?" He quirked a brow, amusement coloring his tone.

"You hardly sleep, eat, and all you wear are suits," she shrugged, taking a sip from her mug, eyeing him over the rim, "for all I know they could be your armor against the sun."

He snorted and shook his head fondly, "Goodnight Bella."

"Night," she replied, heading down to her private quarters in the basement.

He clicked away on the computer, coming up with a to-do list. He jotted down the number of three different maid services, weeded out a few potential nannies from the resumes the childcare placement agency had faxed his way and drafted a potential job ad for someone to come by the house once a week for laundry and grocery shopping.

He rinsed out his cup and filled his water bottle before heading up to bed.

"It's Saturday, we're not allowed to wake Bella," Asher informed Mia as he led her into Edward's room after knocking multiple times. "Wake up." He tugged at Edward's covers as he climbed up on the bed, "we're up."

Edward reached out and tickled them both, "you're both up, huh?"

"Yes," Mia giggled cuddling into his side as Asher sprawled out and turned on the television. "I tell Asher you no work today," she beamed at Edward.

Asher glanced at him, "I've got a couple days off. We're going to go see Pops and Yaya after breakfast." At the excited look that crossed Mia's face, he quickly added, "and breakfast isn't until after Brax and Holden wake up, and we're all ready for the day."

Mia made a face and plopped back down next to him, placing her head on his arm to watch the cartoons. Edward slipped out of bed, "you guys watch, I'm gonna get ready."

...

"It's your day off," Edward reminded Bella as he put Holden and Braxton into their high chairs as she placed breakfast on the table.

She ruffled Asher's hair and pulled Mia's into a neat ponytail, "I know. I thought I'd help out before I go. I'll be back around dinner time," she kissed the top of Mia's head as she placed her into her booster seat at the table.

"What are you doing today? We're going to see Pops and Yaya, you're not coming?" Asher frowned, his gaze bouncing between Edward and Bella.

She shook her head as she finished her coffee, "no, I'm spending my day with friends." She said sliding her rosy aviator to the top of her head.

Edward couldn't help but notice how attractive she looked in her dark, ripped jean shorts, a simple striped gray v-neck and white converse. Her hair was styled, and she had taken the time to do her makeup. It was easy to see she was looking forward to spending time with her friends.

"Are you going to be home for dinner?" Asher demanded, breaking Edward out of his thoughts.

Bella's lips twitched upwards, "I'll be home, have a good day," she promised, kissing the top of Asher's head before going to put a water bottle and a granola bar into her purse.

"Have fun," Edward wished, his smile slipped as he spotted Black on the sidewalk next to an older van with a few others. Bella beamed as a rushed towards them and a large blond twirled her around, "Mikey," she squealed.

Asher shot Edward a look full of annoyance, "you shoulda' asked her to come to Yaya's and Pops," he grumbled dropping his bowl in the sink and sulking off.

..

"Hey Mom," Edward kissed Esme's cheek as she plucked Braxton out of his arms. "How was your trip?" He asked, sitting at the kitchen counter and reaching for a chip.

"Crazy, beautiful, and fun," she gushed as she cuddled Braxton close, "but I missed these babies. I informed your father that when you move next summer to open a new branch in Charlotte, we're moving too. I won't be across the country from my grandchildren."

He raised a brow and shot a look at his dad who shrugged as if to say what-can-I-do?-She's-already-made-up-her-mind. "What about Alice, Em, and Rose?"

"What about me?" Emmett rolled into the room with Mia perched on his shoulders.

Edward's lips quirked upwards at Mia's infectious grin, "Mom and Dad are moving to North Carolina next year," he explained, accepting a glass of wine from his dad.

Emmett nodded and cleared his throat, "actually Rose and I, we've been discussing it, too. It's beautiful there. We could afford to build a house and customize it, have a yard. A pool."

"So. Wait, we're all moving?" He asked, rubbing a hand over his face. He bit back a groan at the pure excitement that lit up his mother's face. "What about the office here? He turned his eyes to his father.

Carlisle placed Holden in a jumper before replying, "Emmett and I won't be following right away. Most of the big names will follow you. Bree and Riley have proved themselves more than capable of running the California branch."

"Now, no more business talk, it's the weekend," Esme ordered. "How's Bella?" She asked Edward as she bounced Braxton on her hip happily. "You haven't been working that poor girl too hard?"

He groaned and rolled his eyes, "Ma, she's out with friends," his stomach soured as he pictured the blond boy swinging her around. "I hired a maid service, and I'm looking into paying someone to drop by once a week to help with laundry. She's helping me find a nanny for when school starts at the end of summer."

"And what will happen next summer?" Esme frowned, thinking of the upcoming move. It was clear she wasn't fond of the thought of leaving Bella alone.

The sourness settled in his stomach as he answered his mom, "as of right now, she's planning to move with us. We have a two-week trip planned in August. We're going to check it out, look at houses, schools." He settled back with a pleased grin. Maybe he can get Jacob into the international tutoring program. He was fairly sure the big guy would love to surf in Japan.

He missed the look his parents shared. They both recognized that he wasn't fully aware of his growing feelings towards his nanny. "That's good."

"Yaya, look," Asher burst into the room with a bundle of freshly picked flowers for her, "Rosie helped me picked them just for you. Aren't they pretty?"

"Beautiful, love them" she praised as she got down a vase, "now little man, I do think you need to go wash your hands," she laughed as Asher wiped his hands on his jean shorts.

"Alright Yaya," he agreed easily without a fuss, "Can I pick one for Bella before we go?" He asked, smiling as Esme wiped his face with a wet cloth.

Esme nodded, smirking at the little boy's antics, "of course. Now scoot, I expect a clean young gentleman to come back down those stairs," she laughed as he darted off through the house, "Oh, how I love that sound."

"Pops, C'mon," Asher called for Carlisle, causing the older man to chuckle and head after the young boy.

...

"Let me help," Bella smiled, coming down to the garage when Edward and the kids arrived home. "I'll get Hold," she said, unclipping the baby's buckles. "How was your day, Ash, Mia?"

"Yaya helped me pick you flowers," Asher grinned at her as he climbed out, giving her a tight side hug. "And we had pizza for lunch, we played ball with Emmy and Jasper, we made kites with Pops. It was so much fun, you should've come too. You would have a really good time."

Bella ran her fingers through his wild hair, "I should have, it sounds like you had an awesome day."

"Next time you'll come," he said decidedly, "everybody missed you."

She nodded, "we'll see, run up and wash. We'll have a picnic dinner."

"Picnic dinner?" Edward asked, following her up to the kitchen.

She motioned out back to their tiny strip of yard, "sandwiches on a blanket followed by watching them terrorize their swingset."

He laughed and nodded, carrying one of the Panera to-go bags out to the blanket that Bella had already arranged. He didn't miss that the kitchen was now clean and reorganized. "Today was your day off, you didn't need to clean. Speaking of which, I hired a company to come and clean. Monday they're coming to deep clean the house then they'll come once a week on Thursdays. Fucking long overdue, I know, I'm sorry," he apologized with a tired chuckle as he sat. "I'm also looking into someone coming to do laundry and possibly do some of the grocery shopping."

"That sounds… amazing," she laughed softly, "what did you think of the classes I'm looking into taking?" She asked, placing Holden in a Bumbo seat on the blanket. "I'm not sure what I want to major in just yet, so I went with basic, generic classes."

He nodded, bouncing Braxton on his knee, "I thought you made wise, practical choices." He approved, "are you excited?"

"I am a bit, and also nervous," she chuckled, "and I'm sure Asher and Mia feel the same way about starting school too."

He smirked, "probably," he dished out their food as Mia and Asher joined them on the blanket.

The conversation flowed around Mia and Asher as they told Bella everything they had done while she had been gone, much the way evening usually went for Edward when he managed to be home for dinner. He vowed to himself to do better.

"Bedtime," Edward called to them after he cleaned up the yard as Bella swung on the porch with the babies, rocking them until their eyes grew heavy.

Bella placed Braxton into his crib as Edward tucked Holden in, "movie?" she mouthed to him and held up a RedBox copy of A Quiet Place.

"Totally," he whispered, "I'm gonna change and I'll be right down."

She grinned and asked softly, "popcorn?"

"Do I ever turn down popcorn?" He snorted. She giggled quietly and went to change and start their snack.

He dropped down next to her on the sofa as she started the movie, smirking as she clutched her blanket and pushed the bowl of popcorn into his lap and curled up to his side.

...

The Aquarium was busy, yet still managed to be rather quiet and relaxing. Edward wore Holden in a carrier as Bella pushed the stroller and held Asher's hand, keeping the curious and impulsive boy close.

"Edward," Mia tugged on his hands, peering up at him through her teal glasses, "I want to, I want to," she said eagerly.

"Want to what?" He asked amused, kneeling down to talk on her level.

"I want to," she paused and stared at the sign. Her button nose wrinkled up as she concentrated on the word. "I want to pet the," she pointed to the picture of a stingray, "s-t-ing-r-ay, I want to pet the stangray," she sounded out, nearly correctly.

He froze and stared down at her in surprise, "holy... did you just read that Mia?"

"I likes letters and their sounds," she smiled up at him proudly. "Jake's been teaching me too," she reminded him brightly.

He cast a look up at Bella who nodded confirming her words, "she's breezed through his preschool prep work. He asked if he could continue working with her with his allotted thirty minutes for her studies. I didn't see a problem with it."

"Oh," He nodded with a small frown.

She flushed and looked away from him, "am I in trouble? I shouldn't have made the decision without you. You're their guardian, and I overstepped. But you've been so busy. I meant to discuss it with you, but you worked late that night, the next morning I told Jake to go ahead; I just spaced it."

"It's fine, Bella. I'm the one who's sorry," he murmured, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder reassuringly, "I got wrapped up in work, and honestly it felt good to be away from all this. I didn't realize it at the time what I was doing, but I see it now, and it's going to change. I'll slip from time to time, but if it starts to feel out of hand, bring it to my attention. All right?"

She reached out and squeezed his hand, "all right, but Edward, you have a demanding job, and so much rests on your shoulders. It's just a fact there will be times you'll have to work late, don't let that guilt eat you up."

He blew out a breath and nodded, he knew she was right; he wasn't always going to be able to do everything he wanted.

"Also I haven't said anything with the kids around because I didn't want Asher to feel jealous." She said glancing over to Mia and Asher as the peered into the large tank. "He struggles and tries so hard. I don't want him to get discouraged."

He patted Holden's back as he let out a soft snore against his chest, "true. He'll catch up." He said determinedly.

He placed a hand on her lower back as they walked over to them, "look Alligator, it's Dory," Asher grinned up at Edward.

"I see Crocodile," he smiled.

It didn't escape his notice that they looked like a regular, typically normal family.

And fuck if he didn't crave moments like these, the six of them together.

* * *

 **Author** **Note**...

* * *

Thank you **Sunflower Fran** for beta'ing.

I hope everyone is doing well.

This chapter was brought to you by Dot's Pretzels and my children's return to school.

Thank you for reading and please leave a **Review**!

Extra hugs and love,

\- Emily


	13. Chapter 13

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

* * *

Edward took a deep breath, stepped through the gate and made his way into the small garden. He nodded to Branson as the psychologists placed his book on the end table. "Chamomile or spearmint?" He asked, rising to make their ritual tea.

"Actually if you have a cup of coffee, that'd suit me just fine," Edward requested as he loosened his tie and shrugged off his jacket.

Branson nodded surprised, "I'll be right back," he carried the teapot inside and came back with two mugs and passed one to Edward as he settled across from him on the patio, "how are you feeling today?"

"I'm happy," he stated, he laughed softly at Branson expression. "Sometime in the last few weeks, I realized I'm not carrying around the gut-wrenching guilt anymore. Nor am I feeling so fucking overwhelmed all the time. Life feels manageable."

The doctor smiled.

"And … I'm not feeling as resentful, either." He admitted, taking a small sip of the warm black liquid, "say if Bella pulled out some freaking magic wand with an app or whatever like some modern-day fairy godmother and asked if I wanted to go back to the way things were months ago. I wouldn't."

Branson nodded passively, "and what made you realize this?"

"I became aware that … I like the changes my life has undergone. I love these kids. I like being a... dad." He tugged a hand through his hair, "before, I never gave it thought or even considered having a child, it wasn't really on my radar. Not that I was set against it, just wasn't part of the picture, the plan, I guess. Maybe I hadn't met the woman that made my mind spiral towards those thoughts. I don't know," he laughed with a shrug.

Branson took a drink and nodded once more, "and how are your feelings towards your mother?"

He turned his eyes to the plants and flowers that surrounded them, "I'm still angry, which is rooted in my disappointment with her, but I've made my peace with it. I'm not responsible for her actions, and there wasn't anything I could've done. Not without a time turner." He stated with a bitter accepting smile. "It's harder to forgive her for her actions towards my siblings for two reasons, one because I love the hell out of them. Two, for repeating her past mistakes. But… I'm working on it."

"And how are you're nightmares?" He asked.

Edward placed his colorful coffee mug on the coaster, "better, only a few times the last couple weeks and mostly clustered together in one night or two. Bella keeps me on top of my medication, and I do believe she's sort of trained me into a bedtime ritual as if I'm some sort of naughty child."

Branson snorted and suppressed a smirk, "and how has she trained you?"

"No caffeine after dusk. She's even got my secretary to agree to that nonsense," he shook his head, "normally if I come in from work wound up she makes me destress, either by putting the twins to bed or if it's too late for that, by working out. After the kids are asleep and we've finished our day's work, she starts the kettle, and we put our phones away for the night. We usually watch about thirty minutes to an hour of mind-numbing television together before heading to bed.

Branson started to smile, and Edward cut him off, "and don't you start digging into my feelings towards Bella. I'm aware they're unprofessional. I'm aware of how I feel. If she were a few ... five years older, I'd be pursuing her. I'd probably done something insane and already married her. But, fuck man, she just turned twenty-one."

"Age is but a number for some," Branson smirked, his kind eyes twinkling with a touch of mischief. "And you, yourself, are not an old man at thirty."

Edward scoffed at his words with a roll of his eyes, "I'm not, no, but I've sowed my oats. I'm ready for things she may not be ready for at this point in her life. Stop sighing. I'm not opposed to waiting a year or two. It not wrong that I want her to have every available opportunity and a few more life experiences."

Branson tapped his fingers together thoughtfully, "even at the risk of losing her to another?"

Edward's face pinched, "I'd rather lose her now than in ten years, fifteen years when she looks back and regrets having rushed into a ready-made family, and wasting her youth on me." He said firmly, picking up his coffee and downing the last of it. "I don't know how she feels about me. She's alone in this world, and I'm not about to take advantage of that; maybe she sees me as a big brother, I don't fucking know. But, she's my best friend, and I love her enough to give her a bit of time."

Branson nodded as Edward phone chirped with a reminder, "I better go, our flight is in a few hours," he said slipping his cell back into his pocket and handing Branson his credit card.

"My phone is always on," Branson reminded him as he handed back the card, "have a safe trip."

* * *

The airport was crowded; Edward kept a firm hand on Asher's shoulder as he guided him through security. Bella, Mia, and his parents pushed the twins in their stroller. His eyebrow ticked up as Asher empty his pockets into the bin revealing about twenty Lego figures he had crammed into his jeans and coat pockets.

"I hope you don't lose any of those, I won't replace them," Edward warned the guilty boy as he slipped his shoes back on.

Asher grinned back at him cheekily, "I won't," he promised, earning himself a disbelieving grunt from Edward as he stuffed the Legos back into his coat.

"Four adults, first class, we've got this," Bella reassured him as she passed Edward a cup of black coffee while she sipped her sugary drink and mixed two bottles, passing them to Esme and Carlisle. "I could take them," she offered.

"We've got them," Esme chuckled reassuringly, giving Bella a fond wink.

She smiled, watching Asher and Mia gaze out the window at the planes.

The five-hour flight was long, and it was dark, hot, and humid when they landed, "I like flying," Asher pronounced, "I'm going to be a flyer driver when I grow up."

"You mean a pilot," Carlisle corrected gently as Bella followed Edward with the twins on each hip. Holden and Braxton had decided, over the course of the last hour of the flight they only wanted to be held by Bella. And so, to keep them from having a meltdown, she indulged them.

Edward swiped his debit card for the two Suburbans as Bella loaded the kids in one. His parents entered the address for their vacation rental on the lake into the GPS. "I'll drive hotrod, you didn't catch a wink on the flight," Edward told Bella as he climbed into the driver seat.

A pit stop at the closest fast food chain left Edward grumbling up until he took a bite out of his burger. Mia giggled as Edward winked at her as he snatched a few fries from Bella when she was convincing Asher to finish his milk.

"Let's take the kids things inside and get them settled into bed before bringing in the rest," Bella suggested on the drive out to the lake house. The house was out of the way for all of Edward's meeting in the city, but it was large and cozy enough to fit them comfortably and feel like a vacation in his downtime.

Bella placed Mia and Asher's bags on their separate beds then fished out their pajamas and toothbrushes while she waited for them to finish exploring the house with Edward. Edward carried Mia in on his back with Asher and his parents trailing after him, "you both heard your Yaya, she's going to help you get ready for bed and Pops is going to read you your stories and tuck you guys in."

"Oh okay," Mia agreed easily as Asher gave them a nod showing he was listening as he put his Lego figures on his nightstand.

Bella headed for the kitchen and unpacked the twins' bottles, formula, and jars of baby food. She prepared the bottles and unbuckled Holden from his car seat as Edward finished putting together the portable cribs.

She placed the boys into their awaiting highchairs as Esme mixed up their cereal. She then helped to fed them while singing a happy song. "Carlisle took over so I could come help with the babies," Esme explained as she lifted Braxton up to help get the twins bathed and ready for bed.

Edward took Braxton from his mother with a grin as Bella offered him a bottle, "beds are ready," he told Bella softly as he placed the warm bottle to Braxton's mouth.

"Good, because so are they," she chuckled as she wrangled Holden into his pajamas. "Thanks," she murmured to Esme as she passed her a bottle. Bella smiled lovingly down at Holden as she pressed the bottle to his lips. She chuckled as he latched on hungrily and gazed back up at her. She didn't pull her eyes away, watching as his grew heavy. She placed him in his crib with a contented sigh, lingering behind, giving Edward and his parents a few minutes of privacy.

* * *

Edward yanked an exasperated hand through his hair as he stared at his parents in disbelief. He had realized the lake house they were staying at, while extremely spacious, only had four bedrooms. "Wait … you thought that Bella and I," he sputtered, his eyebrow raising and cheeks flushing in horrified anger.

"We weren't going to say anything or ask questions, but yes, we assumed," Carlisle ran a hand over his mouth in amusement. It warmed him to see his normally unflappable son so flustered.

"That we were, that we were," he tossed his hands up with a shake of his head, "we're not."

Carlisle suppressed a smile as he started the fireplace, "obviously, son, or you wouldn't be having this mild fit."

"What's going on?" Bella asked as she stepped in the room, noting Esme and Carlisle amusement and Edward's open annoyance.

Esme poured herself a glass of red wine and explained, "we were just discussing sleeping arrangements and realized we were short a bedroom. Would anyone else care for a glass?" She asked holding up the bottle.

"I'll take one dear," Carlisle said and turned his eyes towards Bella and Edward. "No thank you, if I have a glass I'll never get any sleep," Bella explained, and at the mention of sleeping, she started digging in her purse. She pulled out Edward's medication he had forgotten to pack and placed it next to the kettle, along with few of his favorite blends of tea.

Edward shook his head as Bella put on the kettle. "I'll stay in the nursery. There's a twin, bed there, and it's across the hall from Mia and Asher. Edward, you weren't thinking of sleeping in there were you? You're here to work," Bella stated ending what she assumed their discussion had been about with a warm grin as she pulled two mugs from the cupboard.

"I may have considered it," he said, sweeping his discussion with his parents under the rug as he shot her a sheepish grin.

She rolled his eyes with a shake of her head, conveying how silly and sweet she thought his solution was. She fixed his tea and slid his pill across the counter along with a granola bar.

"Tomorrow, Edward and I will tour the new office space. We should be back by two, three at the latest," Carlisle informed his wife and Bella who both nodded, unsurprised. "I thought we'd grill and make s'mores by the campfire ... but no hot dogs." He ended with a promise that was directed towards Edward.

Bella didn't miss how Edward's green eyes brightened at the mentioned treat, then shadowed with his father's promise. "Asher will enjoy that," He stated, pulling his mind away from the surfacing memory.

"I thought he might," Carlisle chuckled.

* * *

"Not together," Esme snorted, passing Carlisle a glass of water as they glanced out at Bella and Edward who were headed to the dock with a bottle of wine. "They're practically married," she murmured as she shared a smile with her husband. It had been a long week for everyone as they started making plans for the following year. Esme and Bella had looked at a few colleges in between trips to the zoo, the children's museum, and various parks.

Carlisle curled an arm around her middle, "that may be so dear, but they don't realize it. Give it time, it'll come to a head," He whispered as he placed a kiss to her temple. "Now l say we retire early tonight," he wiggled his eyebrow suggestively, "the grandbabies are sleeping, and it'll give those two some alone time."

Edward passed her a glass a wine, smiling as she took a sip and sighed happily, "Thought you weren't a fan of the taste," he teased her.

"I wasn't, but then I met this guy who had a knack for picking bottles that cater to my taste buds." She smirked at him as she put down her glass while he sat next to her with his tablet.

Edward skimmed through the real estate app, "five bedrooms, three plus baths, large yard, good neighborhood," he pulled up a European-style home on a half-acre of land. The estimated monthly mortgage payment had Bella's eyes widening as he skimmed through the pictures. "It's not as if we're making the final decision today, just thought we'd get an idea. But hell, if we found something, no reason not to start knocking out the mortgage payments now. It'd make money pretty tight, but I could swing it."

She nodded, "uh huh, but I probably shouldn't be helping you pick out a house, especially one that you're buying for keeps."

Edward smirked, "why not, a house is a house," he shrugged, knowing just how to get her on board with planning their future home. "You're gonna live there too, so I figure you get a say," he took a long sip of his wine. "And besides, you enjoy decorating, turning a house into a home, the kids need that."

"Your mama does that for a living," she laughed, "you don't need me. She's already drafting a house for the two of them."

Edward shrugged, "yeah, well, I'm gonna leave it up to you and her, it'll be your home too for however long you want to stay with us, Bella."

The smile she aimed at him gripped his heart, warmed him. They traded the tablet back and forth each selecting a house to show the other. "You're really looking forward to this move, aren't you," Bella stated as she flicked through another series of pictures.

"Yeah," Edward nodded, "California was my parent's dream. Emmett and Alice adapted like ducks to water, but I've missed the east coast. But it's been the skyrocketing prices that nudged us into moving out of the city. I've watched too many of my employees struggle. So next summer the west coast branch is moving over to Oakland, and we're moving out here."

She squeezed his knee comfortingly, "you're a good man."

His lips twitched upwards, "glad you think so. You sure about moving here?"

"Oh yeah," she said softly, as she pulled her eyes away from him. "Though the tea is a little sweet."

She grinned as he tossed his head back and laughed.

"Thank you for keeping me occupied this week," she said breaking the silence they had fallen into, "I know you brought us on this business trip to get my mind off the anniversary of my dad's death."

He slung an arm over her shoulder and comfortingly tucked her into his side. It thrilled him that she knew why he had planned their trip when he had; that she could read him so easily.

"I miss him so darn much," she whispered, he gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. "He had this air about him that just made you feel good, safe. Probably why he made one hell of a cop. I wish he knew how much I admired him, loved him," she confessed quietly as the sun began to set over the lake. "But I was a spoiled brat and then he was just gone."

"He knew," he said softly, "and he'd be proud of the woman you are, damn proud," he assured her, meeting her gaze for a long moment.

With one more side hug he forced himself to pull his arm back because he knew he had to be careful, but the more he tried to keep his distance, the more entwined their lives became.

* * *

Author Note...

* * *

Thank you, Sunflower Fran, for beta'ing.

I hope everyone is doing well had a wonderful holiday season, I hope 2019 is a wonderful year for y'all. This chapter is thanks to my husband who has started a new job that allows him to be home more which allows me more time to write.

Thank you for reading and please leave a **Review**!

Hugs and love,

\- Emily


	14. Chapter 14

**There Goes My Life**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

"Are you going to tell me why we're actually trudging through the mall when you could buy everything online?" Angela asked after taking a long pull of her strawberry smoothie as she slipped her cellphone back into her pocket.

Bella glanced over at her best friend and swiped Edward's credit card for Asher and Mia's stack of new school clothes, "gives me a valid reason to be out of the house," she explained. "Brianna's there, she's getting to know the kids."

Angela gave her a funny look. "I'm surprised you're not hovering and shit," she laughed at the look on Bella's face. "What? Don't give me that look, girl. You stress with change, plus you don't trust easily, that's a fact."

"Edward's there," She admitted with a shake of her head, "and it's important they bond with her before she's alone with them. I'll be with her the rest of the week until school starts." She said as she put the bags in the trunk of the small, four-door Subaru Edward had purchased from his brother.

She placed her latte in the cupholder, "so what do you think of her?" Angela asked as she put her cell on Bella's phone charger.

"Brianna, or Bri as she prefers to be called, I don't know. She seems very nice, and she has ten years of experience. She's worked for three other families who all gave her stellar recommendations. She's pretty, smart," Bella shrugged before putting the car in reverse. "Asher doesn't seem to care for her, but Mia likes her okay."

Angela admired her engagement ring, not looking at Bella as she asked her with a coy smile, "and do you like her?"

"I guess," she said as she came to a stop at a red light. Before Angela could dig deeper into her feelings, Bella quickly changed the subject. "I know just the place to go for lunch ... tacos," she headed for their favorite spot near Angela's apartment.

They settled in a booth with their cold drinks, and Bella let out a soft sigh of enjoyment as she sipped her fizzy Coke. It was the first soda she'd had in over a month as she had given up the beverage around Asher and Mia.

"So," Angela said softly, putting down her taco, "has Edward found anyone to do that laundry gig you told me about?"

Bella shook her head, "no, he got buried under another work project, and then finding the new nanny. But Esme's been helping us," she explained, "why?"

"If it's still something he's interested in, I could use the extra work. Ben got offered a promotion at work," she revealed, "but the thing is, we'll have to move to Omaha in February. Yes, his company has offered him a really nice moving bonus, but we're hoping to bulk up our saving a bit more."

Bella blinked at her, stunned, before forcing an excited grin. "That's, that's… great."

"I'm going to miss you too," Angela smirked a bit gloomily, "but don't look at me like that, you were moving first, bitch, all the way across the country. Need I remind you?"

Bella snorted back a sad chuckle as she tightly hugged Angela. "I'll talk to Edward and let you know." She sniffed and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall, "so back to happier news, how's the wedding planning going?"

Angela let out a long sigh. "Apparently I'm driving my mom insane because I refuse to spend more than few grand. You should have seen her face when I told her we found our dresses at a thrift shop. Luckily, my pops understands. He's recruited my uncle into doing the catering, and my great auntie is going to make the cake. I just want to go to the courthouse."

Bella chuckled, "so while we're talking about your wedding, I want to give you my gift now," she dug into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper.

"B, I told you," her eyes widened, and she trailed off as she read the receipt. On it, Angela saw the name of the establishment, the date of her wedding, as well as the time that they had reserved. "You paid off my venue," she whispered.

"Don't make it such a big deal. You guys had if half paid for already. It's not even close to what you and Ben did for me when my dad died. I wanted to do this, I have the means to do it, and so I did. I love you, Angie. You're my soul-sister. Just don't expect a toaster at the wedding."

Angela laughed as she placed a few dollars on the table and followed Bella out of the restaurant. "You know how much I appreciate this ... everything."

"You better, just remember this when I drag you all over some town looking through thrift shops for my own wedding." She warned with a chuckle.

Angela snorted and rolled her eyes teasingly, "oh please when you get married to Edward they'll be no budget. It'll be five-star hotels and a dress from some designer in Paris."

Bella face flushed, "I should never have told you about my crush."

"Crush," Angela tossed her head back and laughed. "You've admitted to more than a crush on Mr. Sexy Boss."

Bella shot her best friend a look of annoyance. "I'm fairly sure he doesn't feel like that about me."

"Oh, honey, that man _sooo_ wants to take you to bang town," Angela rolled her eyes with a little smirk.

Bella narrowed her eyes playfully. "Bang town, really A?" she said dryly. "Seriously, Edward does not look at me like that. I'd bet it's more like a cross between his sister and a friend or whatever."

"Uh huh," Angela drawled unconvinced. "I better get home; I've got some work to do before tomorrow."

Bella nodded and smiled, "I'll call you later." She watched her walk towards her old apartment building before driving back to Edward's. Once there, she gathered the bags and headed up the front steps.

Her heart swelled with love as she heard Asher's voice before she opened the door. "Bella's back, she's back!" She caught him easily and swung him up into a tight hug.

"Hey Kiddo, how was today?" She asked, setting Mia's bags on the stairs.

He grunted and let his head thud against her shoulder. "Oh," she chuckled softly in understanding, "how much trouble are you in?"

"Butt load," he muttered into her neck, she had to force herself not to laugh at his blunt honesty.

Edward stepped into the hallway with a soft frown, "Asher James back to your room," he ordered firmly.

Bella placed him back onto his feet and gave his shoulder a small squeeze. "Go on, I'll come up and see you in a minute," she promised. Asher turned his sad pouting eyes on her but to no avail. "Go, those eyes won't work with me."

"Fine," he huffed and stomped back up the stairs.

Bella hung up her purse and keys in the entry hall, "rough day?"

Edward grunted and ran a hand through his hair. "He's trying to run her off. I've never seen him act like he has today."

She smiled sympathetically. "He'll adjust, but it's going to be a tough month. His entire routine is changing. A new nanny, starting school, only seeing Jake on Saturdays. That's a lot."

He nodded, "Mia and the twins are napping, figured we could go over the schedule with Brianna."

"Sure, give me a minute," she said, as she unlaced her yellow converse and put them in the cubby by the door before following him into the kitchen. "How's today going?" She asked Brianna with a grin as she grabbed flavored water from the fridge.

"Really well," Brianna's voice was honey-sweet. Big blue eyes, sandy blond hair and she wore a yellow t-shirt underneath a plum cardigan. Bright. Cheerful. Bubbly.

Edward leaned against the counter. "Let's talk about the new schedule. Brianna, I know you're a bit apprehensive about how you'll do everything, but I'd like to reassure you that won't be the case. Rarely will you need to watch all four children at once."

Brianna nodded in surprise.

"School holidays and days when there's no school being the exception," Edward explained. "The majority of the week your primary focus will be the twins. You'll have Mia in the mornings until eleven, and all day on Friday when there's no preschool. Also, your schedules will overlap with Bella's."

Bella smiled and set down her glass. "I've arranged my classes, so I'm out by one and two depending on the day of the week. I'll be picking up Asher and Mia from school and bringing them home or to their afterschool activities."

"The cleaning service comes on Monday and Thursdays. Starting next week Jake, Mia's tutor comes on Tuesday in the morning to take her to story and game time, and on Friday, they'll be doing a three-hour session."

"And how will Mia get to school, will I be taking her?" Brianna asked, taking notes.

Edward rubbed his chin and grinned. "And that brings us to my parents. About eighty percent of the time, my parents will take her. I'll let you know ahead of time when they're unable. Carlisle and Esme will be coming over to meet you," he trailed off trying to remember what day they were planning their visit.

"Friday," Bella cut in helpfully.

"That's right." He shot her a grateful grin.

Brianna nodded, "it all sounds very manageable. I do have one more question. Would you mind if I took the twins to the park about once a week to play? They'll swing, and we can go on walks in their stroller. I have a few friends who are nannies too, and we like to meet up at the park. It gives us a bit of adult time to look forward to while getting the kids out of the house."

Edward shrugged, "I don't see why not," he agreed as his phone rang. "Sorry, I've got to take this." He stood and stepped out of the room as he pressed the phone to his ear. Bella couldn't help but watch him go or help notice how handsome he looked in his dress slacks and how well they fit his rear. Her mind spiraled to thoughts about his workouts and how his muscles moved under his shirts.

She rubbed a hand over her face and turned her eyes back to her glass. It wasn't her fault Edward looked like a cross between a Greek god and a movie star.

"I'll get them," Brianna's soft voice cut through her thoughts as Braxton cries reached her ears.

She snapped her head up and smiled gratefully. "I need to talk to Asher," she remembered and followed Brianna upstairs.

Bella knocked a few times before stepping inside Asher's room. "What's going on, Ash?"

He fiddled with his Lego figures and shrugged, refusing to look up at her as he continued pouting. Bella sat on the edge of his bed and ran her fingers through his brown locks. "Cat got your tongue love?"

Asher wrinkled his nose as he rolled onto his back so he could look up at her. "No! I don't like her, and I want her to go away. Far, far away."

"Oh," Bella said simply as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. "Why don't you like her?" She asked her voice gentle and inquisitive. "Is she mean to you?" She dropped her voice and whispered playfully. "Is she not helpful and kind? Is she secretly a vampire?"

Asher rolled his eyes and snorted unamused. "No, she's nice and pretty, but I don't like her and I want her to go. Make her go away."

Bella scooped him up into her lap and hugged him. "You do know you won't see her that much, right?"

"I won't?" He frowned, his brows wrinkling in curiosity.

Bella shook her head and smothered back a smile. "Nope, most of the time you'll be at school, then I'll pick you up, and we'll come home."

"Then she'll go home?" He asked turning his hopeful green eyes on her.

Bella shook her head once more. "Well no, she'll help me with the twins for a little while, so I have more time for you and Mia. But most evenings she'll go home before dinner time."

He chewed on his lip thoughtfully before letting out a long sigh. "I guess that won't be too bad then if it helps you."

"It will," she assured him, placing a kiss on the top of his messy head.

He grunted. "Then I guess she can stay."

"Good," she chuckled and handed him a set of fresh clothes. "Now that's settled, go get dressed and brush your teeth. We need to go meet your teacher tonight."

He perked up and rushed towards the children's bathroom. "Oh yeah," he turned back towards her in his doorway. "She's not coming, is she?"

"No, and this is your last warning ... be nice, please." She stressed the last bit and shooed him out of the room to get ready.

She then went to Mia's room to gently wake her from her nap. "Rise my sunshine," she rubbed Mia's back until the little girl was fully awake and removed her thumb from her mouth. She handed Mia her teal glasses. "Good nap?"

"Mmhmm," she mumbled into her pillow as she stretched. LIke a flash of energy she scrambled down, "I gotta potty." And off she rushed.

Bella followed her out to the hallway, as Asher rushed passed her. "Bella where are my shoes?" She groaned and took a deep breath.

"I'll help him," Edward called up as if he could feel her irritation from below.

She helped Mia brush her teeth, then combed through her hair and braided it. "What would you like to wear?"

Mia tilted her head and looked in her wardrobe thoughtfully. "My airs-lane dress Yaya make me," she pointed to her blue twirl dress with an airplane print.

"That's a perfect choice," Bella agreed.

* * *

"Backpacks," Edward called from the living room as he strapped Braxton and Holden into their infant car seats.

Bella zipped up Asher's skeleton dinosaur backpack after double-checking his supplies list. She passed it off to him and then skimmed through Mia's unicorn backpack and chuckled as she helped her put it on. "Look at you, big girl," she praised as Mia twirled in excitement.

"I'll get Hold," Bella offered as Edward hoisted up both car seats from the couch. "Those carriers are getting heavy."

Edward shook his head, "I've got them, let's go." Bella held open the front door and motioned Mia and Asher out as she hit the unlock button on the SUV. "Asher, help Mia buckle," she called after them as they rushed down the steps and into the Escalade.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Edward called to Brianna with a small wave goodbye.

She paused at her driver door and nodded her head. "Have a good night."

"That was the quickest we've ever been out of the house," Bella teased as Edward pulled out of the driveway.

Edward smirked and gave her a quick side-glance. "It'll be nice to have an extra pair of hands."

"Oh, speaking of an extra pair of hands," Bella said remembering her conversation with Angela earlier. "Are you still interested in someone to help tackle the laundry?"

Edward nodded as he stopped at the stop sign. "Well, my friend Ang, she's looking for a bit of extra work."

"It wouldn't be a regular or steady thing, probably twice a month, maybe three," Edward reminded her.

"She knows, she just hoping to bulk up her savings," Bella reassured him with a smile as she unbuckled when they reached the school.

Edward rubbed a hand over his mouth as he waited for the trunk lift to open as he paid for the parking space. "Then sure, have her come over whenever she has a free day this week. I'll leave a check for her in my office." He popped open the double stroller as Bella lifted Braxton from his car seat and strapped him into it as Mia and Asher climbed out of the car.

Bella took their hands as Edward placed Holden into the stroller and started down the street towards the school.

Bella felt like she was holding her breath as she watched Asher take in his classroom, his hand clenched around hers, tight and sweaty as he huddled against her, scanning everything.

They set their package of Lysol wipes on the counter. "Looks like you're gonna have lots of fun in here, I'm so jealous. I wish my school was this much fun," Bella stated, pointing out his name on his cubby.

Asher perked up and shot her a smirk. "Come check out your desk, Alligator," Edward called him over to put his things away as instructed on the whiteboard.

She felt her shoulders relax as she watched Asher become enchanted with his teacher, giving Mrs. Acord an eager nod, as she lifted Holden from the stroller and fed him.

Mia was Asher's opposite. She entered her colorful and bright classroom with confidence that marveled everyone. Gone was the nearly silent girl they had taken in eight months ago. She let go of Edward's hand and shook her teacher's as she introduced herself.

"Hello, I'm Mr. Ricco," he shook Mia hand with a warm grin. "Can you tell me who you are and a little about yourself?"

"I'm Mia, and I have another teacher, Jake. He's a boy too, and he's teaching me to reads and do maths. That's my Edward, Bella, and my brothers. I have three of them, and that's too many," she pointed to her family as Mr. Ricco showed her to her name at a table with a small chuckle.

* * *

Author Note...

* * *

Thank you, Sunflower Fran, for beta'ing.

This chapter was brought to you by lots of Mickey Mouse on repeat, a dirty house and my husband 'babysitting'.

Thank you for reading and please leave a **Review**!

Hugs and love,

\- Emily


End file.
